Taking the High Road

I had an interesting conversation tonight on the phone with a lady that I got to know just a few weeks ago. She lives in my community, and we share some mutual interests that were the topics of our conversation. We were discussing what action should be taken concerning a mutual problem we are having.

I shared with her a valuable lesson that I have learned within the last couple of years of my life. A few years ago, this "daughter of Charlemagne" would have emerged with her sword drawn, ready to right all the injustices in the kingdom of Gravyville. However, age is mellowing me, and time is softening my approach to near-daily encounters with pea-brained individuals.

By nature, I am an activist. I am not one to sit around and let important causes go unchampioned. If I see a need on a personal basis, I would almost rather die than let the need go unanswered. There is a strong calling down in the bowels of my being that causes me to feel injustices in my world quite deeply, and in the past, this has gotten me into trouble, because, quite frankly, I have stuck my big nose in where it was not wanted.

In times past (and I am sure I will do it again at least a time or two before I die,) I have butted into situations where I was obviously not welcomed. That is the risk one takes when she tries to treat others as she would want to be treated. Some people are just very private, and they do not want to be bothered for any reason any time, even if their world is completely falling apart.

Back to tonight's conversation, however. As I spoke with this lady, it was evident that she thought that I had been "wronged" and that I needed to stand up for my "rights" and tell my story to people who just might listen. I told her, "Sometimes it is worth it, and sometimes it just is not."

(Digressing again...) A very wise friend told me a long time ago when I was a young parent to choose my battles wisely with my kids. There are so many times that you have to emphatically tell them "No!" that you can lose credibility with them if every time they ask you for something or to do something and the answer is "NO!"

The last time that my daughters asked me if they could get some pots and pans out and play in their kitchen band, I was tempted to say "no." After all, a mommy has enough dishes to wash after supper without having additional band instruments to clean up. Then, I thought about it, and I said, "O.k!" You would have thought that I gave them a set of Pearl drums!

It is that way with adults, too. Sometimes people do some pretty cruddy things to one another. Sometimes, people that you think are your best friends let you down in unimaginable ways. Sometimes it is worth bringing up and dealing with the issues. Sometimes, it just plain old isn't!

I told my friend tonight that this is one of those times. The Bible has quite a bit to say about fools, and there certainly are a lot of fools in this day and age. Proverbs is a great book full of everyday wisdom, and if you have never read it, you should. Though it was written hundreds of years ago, it is just as relevant today as it was then, because people never change. Proverbs tells us basically that there is a time to (and this is paraphrased) reason with a fool, and there are other times that it is absolutely futile.

So, how do you know when to confront someone and when not to? I think the answer lies within us and not the "foolish" person. Sometimes, we might have the wisdom to say something that might touch someone's heart and turn them around to a better way of thinking. And then, more often, I think, there are times that it just does not do one bit of good to say anything at all. They are too far gone to care or to act upon what you are saying. You are just wasting your breath to try and get them to see things your way.

So, when someone has mistreated you, you have two options. You can "take the low road" and fight to the death, or you can take the high road and walk away. Lots of people cannot walk away until they have "made their point" or "made a scene" or in some way visually called attention to the injustice that has come upon them.

It takes a lot more strength of character to walk away. Forget pride. It is highly overrated. You can still be inwardly proud of yourself and the way you have handled a situation. Forget about losing face. Losing face with whom? The foolish, ignorant, pathetic, misguided soul? He or she does not make a good friend/mate/business partner/etc., so why do you care if you have an on-going relationship with such a person? I have never gained any self-esteem by going a few verbal rounds with an idiot!

Lest I sound like I am all high on myself, that is not the case, I assure you. While humility is not my strongest suit, it is not my weakest, either. I'm just learning as I go that we all have so many battles to fight in life, and we can, if we are not careful, end up fighting something all the time. The next thing we know, we are old, and we really have not accomplished anything except for sparring with those whose minds we have no chance of changing.

Duty lies within every individual to search out truth, find it, and act appropriately upon it. Any lesser action is laziness at best and cowardice at worst.

No, my dear blog reader, it hasn't always been an easy climb to scale the sharp rock walls from the low ground up to the high road. Sometimes, I slip up and tumble pathetically down the slopes, arriving bruised and bleeding back in dangerous territory. I have to just make myself get up and resolve to do better at "rock climbing" and get back to treading down the high road. It gets a little easier with each successful battle.