Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Changes
















"Soaring over Lexington"

I had a time of my life when I loved listening to country music. I have not enjoyed it particularly in some time, but that is another story. There was a song a while back that was a real tear jerker, and the lyrics said "Life's about changing....nothing ever stays the same...." Somebody was right on the money there. Life has really been changing at the speed of light for me in recent weeks.

Of course, the biggest change has been the departure of our eldest from the nest. Like the eagle does her young, I dropped him from the heights over and over and then swooped down to rescue him repeatedly as he tired in mid-air and began to plummet to earth. Then one day, as all baby eaglets do, he did not tire. He flew magnificently off into the heavens and took his natural place.

I read so many blogs, and some of the moms are lamenting that their kids got mad and left home, or they were rebellious and ran away from home, etc. I was so happy that when the time came for my boy to go, that he and I were in agreement about his life's plans. Sure, I would have preferred, selfishly, that he stay around here and go to college. But I understood his reasons for wanting to go where he went, and since the number one reason was to reach for higher spiritual heights, how could I deny him?

So, now the dynamics of our little family have changed, and it will take me a while to adjust. When you have counted your offspring every time you leave a place to make sure you have not forgotten one, it is hard to leave anywhere with one less than you are used to counting.

We go for fast food, and as the kids scream out the orders from the back of the car, we listen for one more order that never comes. We count burgers and fries on the screen of the drive-thru, and it seems like we are missing something, always. The voice that always called out for a vanilla shake from the mid-section of the S.U.V. is now silent.

And life in the nest goes on. Sarah has had a big week, losing two teeth and having her first stitches in her thumb! Sam and Micah wrestle like bear cubs, with Sam making sure that Micah knows the pecking order! Daddy ponders what changes will happen in the house now that it's even-Steven between the sexes around here again---3 males, 3 females!


Just when we seem to have a good rhythm going, someone asks in a sad little voice, "Can I call Daniel?" (The family talk plan on the cellphone is saving the day right now!) Daniel does not seem to mind that the little ones are testing the limits of unlimited mobile to mobile. I keep thinking the cell phone company is going to call and tell us that they are terribly sorry, but they are losing so much money on us that they are going to have to cancel our plan!

I awoke this morning to Tim calling back to the house and telling me to get up and put the extra locks on the door, as there was a strange man with out of county tags just parked out on the street. Since we live on a dead- end street, very little thru-traffic comes down our road, and I have not known anyone to just park out there before. So we called the police and had them do a drive-by, and I was wishing all the while that my big old strapping 240 lb. boy was here to protect me and the rest of the kids.

A thousand things like that bring Daniel to mind every day. Sometimes, I am very, very happy and proud for him that he has been able to take this time to do what he wants to do and that God worked it all out for him. Other times, if I think too much, I feel like my heart will break. So far, I have not just sat down and cried over his departure as I feared I would. I do, however, tend to get a little more weepy than usual during things that would normally not bring me to tears....like during the watching of Mighty Ducks 3 with the wee ones this last week, or while listening to the new Garth c.d. that I got for Christmas (when the whole audience sang "Unanswered Prayers" word for word and Garth just sat back speechless and let them do it), or during passionate speeches.

I cannot quite claim the empty nest syndrome, as my nest does not look like it will be empty at least until sometime about 2022, the good Lord willing. By then, I will probably be covered up with grandkids and teenaged girls and be trying to keep their daddy from shooting at all the potential suitors.

However, there is a big empty spot in the nest where my giant clumsy "baby" bird rested in our own humble haven. Our family singings, impromtu events on the dark roads between counties as we travel back and forth to worship and to shop and to share some family time, will lack both the volume and the harmony that existed when there were 7 voices.


Now, too, there is a little less laundry and lot more leftover at dinner. There is a little more room in the nest for the other babies to stretch their wings, but something tells me that if they had their way, they would not mind crowding up once again anytime to make room for their gentle giant of a brother.



"Can we call Daniel?"

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Elvis Has Left the Building!


Daniel, his new roommates, and some friends who came to welcome him to Lexington! (The girls live elsewhere :) )

My two readers have probably noticed that I have not updated in a LONG time! We have been a little busy getting my eldest moved up to Lexington, KY. It was quite an ordeal, but I am happy to say that it was a positive experience overall! Daniel is sooooo happy, and that makes it all worthwhile!

Our trip started last Friday. It was a gorgeous day, unlike the previous weekend, which was totally soggy. We had no troubles getting the truck loaded with all of Daniel's earthly goods, and we proceeded on to my parents' town to pick up a single bed and a table and chairs that the relatives were donating to this housefull of boys in Kentucky.

On Sat. morning, we got up and prepared to leave for KY. Then, we realized that the key to the big Penske truck was missing! Everyone in the family looked for two hours. We finally figured that it must have fallen out of Tim's pocket at the Kroger parking lot the night before, and it was just lost! So, Tim had to ride 30 miles up the road to a locksmith friend-of-my-dad's to get another key cut for the truck. That done, we got on the road for KY at about 3 p.m., much later than we wanted to be starting.

We did not have much choice but to go on, as we wanted to make worship services in Lexington on Sunday morning. We arrived at the house where Daniel would be living, and we hoped to offload his car at least, so we could lose the trailer we were pulling behind the 26 foot truck. After Tim had already turned the truck into the cul-de-sac Daniel lives on, we realized that with all the cars parked on the street down there, there was no place to go with the truck. For the next hour, we all stood out in the street in the freezing cold trying to back a huge truck and trailer back out onto a busy street without getting anyone killed!

We finally checked into a hotel about 2 in the morning local time. We had managed to offload the car and return the trailer part to a seedy area of town without becoming statistics. We got about 4 hours of sleep before it was time to roll out for church.

It is mornings like this that the old devil really tempts you to stay in bed. I am glad I overcame temptation. The services of the church were just wonderful. The preacher made me cry. Of course, knowing that I was going to have to leave my son in a few hours did not help my emotions any. The sermon was centered around the idea that we live in earthly "tents" --our bodies which are fragile and temporary. Everyone at this church was grieving the loss of a young man they had been working with in hopes he would become a Christian. Instead, he had died of an apparent accidental drug overdose the previous Thursday. The preacher did a wonderful job of interweaving the lesson with the facts of this boy's life and death. He told about how the boy, Justin, had been asked by one of the elders if he ever felt his heart being tugged during the invitation. He said that yes, he had felt that tugging, but he was too scared to step out and walk down the aisle in front of all those people to confess Jesus. The elder had told the preacher that they were going to have to help Justin a little, if they had to walk with him down the aisle. They never got the chance. Justin died before he ever came back to services. So the preacher said he was going to do things a little different that morning and walk up and down the aisles in case there was anyone else there who needed a little help getting down the aisle!

As the invitation song was sung, the tears were just rolling down my face, as I thought of that poor mother who was losing her son forever. I was just dropping mine off temporarily, hopefully to see him again, many, many times. She would never talk to her son again; mine is at the other end of a cellphone. I figured the preacher would think that I was some nut or some potential penitent, standing there blubbering like a baby. But I could not help it, as the sermon and now his gesture towards the lost was just so sweet! Some preachers are "hot dogs" or "showboats," pulling stunts like this for the theatrical effect of it all. It was surely not like that with this man. He was so genuine---so truly devastated that Justin was not ever going to walk that aisle.

At any rate, after services were over, Tim and I introduced ourselves to the preacher and the elders there and told them that we were leaving Daniel in their care. It looks like Daniel is going to be so happy there. There are so many young people his own age for the first time in a lot of years! He said there were about 30 in his college class, which stands to reason since U of K is there. His three roommates are all Christians! They already seem to have that fraternal bond that is so wonderful!

Daniel wasted no time in his new digs. By the time we got there Monday, he pretty well had his room set up! He was lacking curtains and a computer desk, so we went out to shop for a little while before we had to get back on the road. Hannah was the only kid with us, and it was hard for her to leave her big brother. Sarah has had a rough time of it as well. I know we will all adjust in time to Dan not living here, but it will take a while.

On Tuesday night, I called Daniel to see how things were going. He was in the car with some of his roommates, going across town to a gospel meeting! Now that's what a mother likes to hear that her 19 year old son is doing on his first night away from her!

Wednesday night, we showed up at church for the first time without Daniel in tow. We were met in the parking lot by Jared, a young man that Daniel had invited to services. Jared just lost his dad in December, and then he was hit by another driver last week and his car was totaled. Luckily, Jared was o.k. I was happy to have an extra boy with us. He is still very distressed over his father's death and needs lots of encouragement right now. Daniel was ecstatic later to hear Jared had come to services. We will try to finish the work Daniel started.


Daniel already has gotten a job with the help of his roommate, Jeremy. Daniel is going to be a Barrister (sp?)! He is going to be working at Starbucks for the present, and he will be looking to enroll at U of K as soon as he has established his residency! Hopefully there are great things and great times in store for him.

So, yes, my little towhead is all grown up and is out of the nest now. Life is going to be different now for us all, but it makes it a lot easier knowing that he is in good hands all around! If you are reading this, son, be happy and live well! And send your old mom some coffee from time to time!

One tired, happy boy with his friend, Heather

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Busy Weeks

In my last post, as you will recall, I revealed that Tennessee has changed its name to New Florida. The weather here lately has been the wackiest that I have seen in my 43+ years of living here (with brief stints in a few other states now and then.) It has been so warm that at times we have had to raise the windows in the house and put the a.c. on in the car. I have never seen that in January.

Last Friday, the family was all in position to move Daniel to Lexington to begin his official adult life! Tim took the day off, and we were set to start loading as soon as we picked up the truck. Well, first thing that morning, my mother called and asked if we knew that snow was moving into the area, and that Lexington was supposed to get around 3 inches. We were unaware, because we do not have cable any more. By the time we got up and going good, it started to rain. Then, it began to more like monsoon. Tim made a command decision that putting a 26 foot truck on the lawn in the midst of this and then driving 5 hours up the interstate in a possible snowstorm towing another car with me following in our S.U.V. was not how he wanted Daniel to start out his adult life! So, we postponed until this weekend.

The weather has been erratic all week. One day it drops down and snows, and the next, it seems to be back up to 60 degrees. It is no wonder that there is so much sickness around. We need a good hard, prolonged deep freeze to kill off the bugs (insects) and the bugs (germs.)

So, I guess we are going to try again to do the Lexington thing sometime this weekend. We have the truck all weekend, so we don't have to hurry, which is good. Still, it is going to be hard to let go of my firstborn. Those who have not been through it cannot know what I am speaking of. I told someone that Daniel has been with me longer than I have ever been with anyone on earth. He has been with me longer than I lived at home before college. He has been with me longer than I have been married to either of my two husbands. He has been with me since I was 24, so I guess technically, we grew up together.

Daniel has been such a little man all of his life. He was wanting to preach when he was about 5. He informed me when he was 8 that he was the "man of the house" now that his father had left the picture. He has always been incredibly protective of his little brothers and now his sisters. He has always been protective of me as well.

Yes, life will be different for all of us with one of us up in the Bluegrass State. I am happy for him, though. He has done his homework well and found good companions with which to live. It will be four Christian boys in a house--all working and/or going to school. I pray that they will all come to love and appreciate and support one another and build a great relationship.

Meanwhile, I will be a busy bee when we get back. We are going to start an overhaul of the house, moving people around in different bedrooms, painting, sprucing up, etc. I'm looking forward to tossing out a lot of things the kids have outgrown and getting a little new furniture and refinishing some of the older stuff I am getting from my mom. Hopefully, when all is said and done, the girls will have my old bedroom suit, and I will have a thing or two that belonged to my grandmother.

Have a great week and weekend, wherever you are, and I will see you on the flip side of the weekend, Lord willing.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Announcements


Just a couple of brief announcements....

First, Tennessee has changed its name to New Florida. 70 degree temperatures forced us to run our car air conditioner at times yesterday. Weather records are being broken right and left. All traces of winter have vanished. My children shall never see snow again. (The littlest ones have never seen it.) We now have the weather Florida had years ago when everyone raced down there to live. Now, they just have hurricanes 9 months out of the year, and we somehow inherited their weather patterns. We may be forced to move back to New Jersey where Tennessee weather has now gone to reside.

Secondly, here in New Florida, due to certain current trends in America, we demand that everyone be politically correct towards us as well. Kentuckians, Tennesseans (New Floridians,) and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

Thank you very much!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Christmas Pics




Finally....getting some pics up from the Christmas festivities, 2005....





As you can see, somebody had a sense of humor laying out some cookies for Santa! "Mr. Happyface" was baked and decorated by Sarah and Hannah! Next picture is obviously later....














Do I see a few whiskers at the bottom left of that plate?



Before the carnage.....




And after the carnage! Mommy helps put the furniture in Dora's house!








Sam takes a look at his new sheet set in Tennessee orange...and Tommy Hilfiger of course! Later, he checks out his new threads!



Daniel checks out his new down comforter for his new room in Kentucky! (next) checking out the Dockers and the new Phantom of the Opera novel!




Sarah tries without success to wake Micah to open his presents! Unfortunately, the little guy stayed up too late waiting on Santa, and he slept through much of the present opening!


Eventually, Micah woke up enough to demonstrate the proper use of a light saber!




Hannah delights at her new Cabbage Patch baby who shares her birthday!




Sarah shows off a new Leap Pad book that looks to be fun for this girl who enjoys reading so much!




Hannah says, "All I really care about is the chocolate!" Now there's a girl after my own heart!




Sarah looks at two "vintage" toys she asked for---the "Barbie Jet" and the "My Size Barbie House!" (I love eBay and consignment stores, because old toys are better than this new junk they make!) Hannah promptly thought the new house was for her to live in and climbed in! It's that big!





Later, at my parents' house, my brother Doug models the Snickers toupee he made for our "thinning-haired" brother Drew!




Drew and wife, Brooke think Doug is "just hilarious." (Yeah, right! )



Steph and Doug discuss whether a rug or a Snickers Toupee is more effective on Doug, since he will be needing one (a toupee) soon! (Not really, just thought it made a good caption!)



Dad is temporarily buried under a pile of Christmas packages!



Mom and brother Daniel share some hot drinks on a cold day!




Tim and Drew are pretty intently watching the Batman movie! It was pretty intense!




Sarah, and Sarah with her beloved cousin, Ben! In the right of the 2nd picture, in the background, you can see a stocking for our brother, Don, who did not sneak in from Germany as we had hoped he might!

(We'll freeze your candy, Bro.!)




The cousins open their goodies!

Mom shows Dad one of her Christmas pictures as Micah looks on
Doug in the obligatory candid photo that I make of him at every major family event! ( I know I will suffer retaliation photos)

Pappy looks ecstatic to receive his Steve McNair doll! He mumbles, "I really wanted Donovan McNabb!" (inside joke)



After presents, the cousins treat us to their "Grand Opening," a concert highlighting their talents. Kelsey played piano, Sarah sang, and Ben did gymnastics until the unfortunate collision with the Baby Grand piano.



Dan, Steph, and Baby Lauren enjoy the concert! (and some dessert!)



Kelsey plays....




Sarah sings....



Ben---just before the unfortunate accident... fortunately, there were no permanent injuries, to Ben or the piano which has endured two generations of performers!


Tim took the camera and made one of me, Brooke and Drew, so that I could get in a Christmas pic or two!


(Hey, Anne, I made it into 1 1/2 pictures this year!)

Monday, January 02, 2006

Happy 2006!




I have not been on in a while, and that is fine, because one of my New Year's resolutions is that I will not be a slave to my blog! :) Writing should be fun, not a burden, and let's face it, sometimes we are just not in the mood to write. So, when the mood strikes, I will be here, and when it doesn't, I have plenty of other things calling my name.

I thought it would be nice to reflect on some of my favorite things of 2005 as the year has come to a close. All in all, it was not a terrible year, nor was it a great year, personally. I feel very blessed that none of the tragedies that happened to so many of our fellow human beings happened to me or my close family or friends. I had a few family members in Texas affected by the hurricanes, and we lost my dear grandmother in Florida over Thanksgiving, but for the most part, we were spared a lot of the devastation that so many in this country and others faced.

Here are some of my favorite memories of 2005 in no particular order....

----We shared a lot of great moments with our two--yes, two--church families. Circumstances and driving distance necessitate that we worship mid-week with a group closer to us, and on Sundays, we drive a little farther. Both groups have been very understanding of our circumstances and have allowed us to do what we can for each group. We have shared a lot of laughter and tears in both places, and we rejoice that we know so many fine folks in both places who really care if their worship to God is how He wants it rather than how men would change it into what they want. We have also had opportunities to visit some other churches in other counties and states this year, and we have enjoyed being with them. I especially cherish every word--every wise and kind and loving word--that came out of the mouth of one of our dear elders. He is having the fight of his life with cancer, and his example of stamina and courage in the face of horrendous physical challenges has been nothing short of breath-taking to me. I love the times we were with him in his home, and I am glad that we got to share some good times with him this year. I have never personally been under a better collective eldership in the church than the one we are currently under. I revere these three godly men so much, and I owe them a debt that cannot be paid for their watching out for my soul. Being a Christian is truly the greatest blessing one can claim!

----Traveling like we have has made it possible for us to spend more time with my parents, siblings, their spouses, and my nieces and nephews! We especially had a ball in my parents' new inground pool, which we really began enjoying this year! My kids would have stayed at my Mom and Dad's from May until October if we would have let them! It is great to have a place where we can swim privately (but still modestly) and enjoy my favorite outdoor activity! Dad got a new grill in 2005, and we only got a couple of chances to use it before it got cold. So, hopefully this year, we will use it lots and lots!

----We had one of the nicest trips to New Jersey in 2005 that we have ever had. The weather was great, the food and the company with Tim's family was tremendous, and nearly all of us cried when we had to go. (The boys don't cry as easily as the girls!) Each year that Tim and I have with our parents is a great blessing to us, and it is one we do not take for granted.

----I have enjoyed my first year of blogging. I hope others have been blessed by my ramblings, but even if no one ever read anything I wrote, I have enjoyed doing it.

----My firstborn son graduated from high school this year. Not only was the graduation ceremony tops, but we got to share it with so many of the most important people in our lives. Dan, Sam and Micah all came out at the top of their classes when the honors were handed out, and I was the proudest Mom in the place for sure! I have been so proud of my kids, especially this year, because I see so many kids in trouble--kids who have everything in the world materially, but who are not happy, obedient, or on track to be good Christian adults. While my kids are nowhere near perfect, they are spiritually-minded, and they show their light to the extent that other people notice and mention it to me frequently! My kids don't know sometimes that Mama is looking over their shoulder at their on-line conversations, and I am pleased as punch sometimes to find them engaging other Christians and even non-Christians in thoughtful debate and chats on Biblical matters. Since I am ever fighting against the influence of their father, who chooses not to walk in the light, I never take anything for granted when it comes to their proper raising. That is one reason we returned to home schooling in 2005, and I am glad we are doing it! The closeness I share with my kids cannot be expressed in words.


----I learned a lot of lessons about myself in 2005. I had to develop a lot more patience than I had in previous years. Part of that came from dealing with a busy two-year-old at age 43. Some of my patience gained came as a result of dealing with rude and obnoxious people, who seem to be multiplying in our society faster than nice people are. A lot of patience came from living through situations over which I had totally no control and managing to make it out the other side intact. Sometimes you find yourself in uncomfortable situations, and you think you are just going to die before you can get through it. I discovered that I could make it through some things that I did not know I had the strength or the courage to do, and I was still alive! I learned a lot about human nature. I did not punch out one single, solitary jerk! I have learned to control my "Irish" temper more this year than in any year in recent memory. I still have a lot of growing to do in my "Christian graces," but I am finally making some forward progress.

----Tim and the kids and I have made some great memories in 2005 and documented a lot of them on film. While I made absolutely no headway on scrapbooking my kids' lives, I at least photographed them doing lots and lots of different things. Hopefully, this will mean something to all of them when they are older.

----Some good friends have invited us into their lives in times of adversity, and we have been blessed by sharing in suffering with them. While that may sound awfully strange, it really is not. I like to think that we were able to encourage several people in their last days on earth. With others, we held their hands while they said goodbye to a loved one. We have tried to do what we could for some who were suffering unimaginable trials, and we were the ones who ended up being blessed by them, in many cases. Their courage and strength serve as examples which will not quickly leave our minds on how to behave in times of sickness and misfortune. I hope we have learned their lessons well.

----We rejoice in the obvious blessings of life! As 2005 came to a close, Tim still had a job, we were all reasonably healthy, we had everything we need and so much more, and most of those we love were still with us. Not only do we have the love of the two previously- mentioned churches, but we have also been welcomed often by a third group that we worship with when we visit our Tennessee family. They treat us like we are home every time we show up. It is good to belong, good to be missed, good to worship in good conscience wherever we go. After all, we are spiritual beings in earthly bodies, and we are just pilgrims here. Our home country is on the other side of eternity, and we are getting closer and closer to returning home each and every day. I don't ever remember a year where I "got it" more than I did in 2005. It makes sense now more than ever. My mortality is real, and that makes living sweeter every day. When you know where you are headed, it seems to make it a whole lot easier to find your way. As Tim and I said in our wedding vows, in part, "looking toward heaven 'til death do us part...." Here we sit tonight in this house, seven people looking toward heaven. I take nothing for granted. Maybe one or more of my kids will fall off the path in 2006, but I hope at the end of the year I can say either that we are still looking toward heaven, or "Lord, it's good to be home!" Whatever God wills is fine with me.


2006 will surely bring more changes, as life is about changing. The earth does not sit still. I know that one son will be moving on to start his adult life, and as much as I hate letting him go, I am proud that he has cast his lot with other Christians already and that he will continue to have good people to urge him on. The next boy will turn 18 this year, and that will probably mean changes for him, too.

As I exited church Sunday morning, I could not help but think of so many who were with us last January 1st who are now gone. I wondered who would still be there January 1, 2007, if the Lord does not come back first. I am not meant to know these things, so for now, I just intend to love my husband, love my kids, and cherish my friends and family as much as I can, knowing that it all can change in the blink of an eye. I look forward to raising my kids each day and having a ball doing it! What blessings they are to me (well, most days anyway!)

I pray that each and every one who reads these words will be blessed this year and that you will have a profitable and happy 2006!