The Big Number 7!

Fireworks over Nashville

This coming Monday will not only be the Fourth of July, but it will also be my 7th Wedding Anniversary! Not everyone knows how I got together with my Beloved, so I thought I would fill you in.

I had divorced the father of my three sons in 1994 for infidelity, and I had just about given up any hope of remarrying before the kids were grown. At that time, they were ages 8, 7, and 3 months. I mean, what man in his right mind would want to take on the responsibility of a woman and three boys---a ready-made family? I had dated a little, and most men were completely put off by small boys.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am completely devoted to my kids, and there was never any thought of abandoning them with their father or anyone else just for the sake of some selfish man. My grandmother, who had been in a similar situation, counseled me that I might just need to wait until the kids were grown to start looking for another relationship.

So, I pretty much settled in for the long-haul to be a single lady raising 3 boys with not a lot of help. I learned to do lots of things myself, from fixing the belt on a broken washer to taking a toilet up, removing the jammed toy soldiers, and replacing it with the seals and all. It was too expensive hiring repairmen, so I just got books and did things myself. I could put the belt back on the lawn tractor as well as any fellow around.

I also decided during this time that it was time to get computer literate. I got a computer and taught myself how to use Windows and email, etc. Then, I went exploring on the internet to see what was beyond my small little world in Tennessee. I had gotten my computer in January of 1997, and by February, I found a place called "The Christian Connection" (which I don't believe is operational any more, sadly) where Christians (using the term broadly) could meet and develop a relationship at their own pace.

Just a couple of days into being on this site, I got a letter from an interesting guy named Tim who lived up in New Jersey. It seemed that both of us were trying to keep up with the steady flow of people who were interested in our profiles and writing to us. Within just a few days of emailing, Tim and I were so engrossed in each other's potential that we decided to go "exclusive" and just explore the possibilities. It was right around Valentine's Day, and he created me this website just for me, and it was so romantic that I was quite intrigued. I had never had anyone go to so much trouble for me, so I knew that there was something a little different about this one.

Both of us had been hurt in a previous relationship, though Tim had never been married. Our defenses were up somewhat, and we took it pretty slow. But within a few weeks, we took it to the next level and tried a phone call. That went well, also, and Tim requested a picture. That kind of ticked me off a little, as I felt like looks should not be a huge factor, but I could understand that he needed to see that this Tennessee girl had the majority of her teeth!

By May, Tim wanted to come down and meet me. Well, you can imagine how that went over with family. I don't think his family was exactly excited about his being interested in a middle-aged divorce' with 3 kids! My policeman father and the rest of my family thought that I had totally lost it. Tim and I resolved that it really did not matter what family thought, because we were old enough and experienced enough to make up our own minds about such matters.

The May meeting went very, very well, and I was invited to come up to New Jersey for Tim's sister's wedding in July, as all his family was coming in from all over the country for it. I was able to take the baby, who was 3 by now, with me, and we had a ball seeing the sites of New York City, including the 4th of July fireworks. His sister married on the 6th, and it was great fun meeting the entire family. I found that they were a very intelligent, creative, and fun-loving family, much like my own.

So he had met my family, and I had met his, and we were still talking! That pretty well sealed the deal, and the rest was just logistics. At one point, we were just ready to elope and get it over with! But one thing that bothered me was that we were not on the same page exactly on religious matters. Tim was about as close as one could be to being a New Testament Christian without actually being one. We studied together on the phone, and pretty soon, he found a group of Christians to assemble with in New Jersey. In December, he decided that his previous baptism had not been done for the right reasons, so he was baptized into Christ for the remission of his sins. (Acts 2:38)

Now that we were finally "on the same page," we set a date and started planning a wedding for July 4, 1998. We picked that date mainly because the previous 4th had such meaning for us--seeing the spectacular fireworks in New York City and falling in love.

We put a lot of thought into how we wanted to do everything, from designing our rings to picking out the wording for invitations and programs. We wrote our own vows and meticulously picked out every song for the wedding. Our theme was "Let Us Begin in God's Presence." Our music was all done a capella, and each song had meaning to us.

Tim arrived late on Wednesday night before we married on Saturday. He and his parents joined me and my parents at my home, where he got down on one knee and proposed "officially" and slipped my diamond on my finger. Due to the distance and the time it took to have my ring made, he had just kept it until we could get together. I got to wear it a whopping 3 days before we added my wedding ring to the finger as well. We all still laugh because he was nervous and chewing gum when he proposed, and his mother made him stop and spit out his gum before he continued! He will never live that moment down!

We had just a couple of days to get our marriage license and get all the last minute things done for the wedding. At the last minute, we hired a videographer--something Tim did not necessarily think we had to have. We were so happy in the long-run that we professionally videotaped the wedding and had 3 other cameras running, as we have watched the tapes a million times. We also had an excellent photographer, and the day could not have turned out more beautiful. The church was fairly new and needed little enhancement, as it was quite elegant and just the right size for our wedding. The ceremony went flawlessly, everyone looked beautiful, and there was not one technical glitch. The only thing that hampered the day somewhat was a thunderstorm in the afternoon which knocked out the power for a bit after the ceremony was over, but we worked around it, and the sun came out again later. I regret now that we did not have more outdoor shots of Tim and me, but in the Tennessee humidity of July, neither of us would probably have looked too calm, cool, and collected!

I ended up being in my dress longer than I anticipated, and by the time the picture below was made, I had probably been in the dress for about 7 hours! In this particular photo , we were at the New Orleans Manor, an elegant Nashville restaurant, where we had a spectacular dinner after the wedding with family and the wedding party. Then, we were off for our honeymoon, and everyone else went to see the fireworks over Nashville.



As the saying goes, there has been a lot of water under the bridge since that day in 1998. In some ways, it does not seem like it could have been 7 years already since then. In other ways, I think I have felt every single day! Tim and I have had our share of trials since we married, mostly due to incessant health issues. Those are things over which we have no control. But the best part of our marriage has been that our values are the same and that we are so much alike in so many important ways. That has enabled us to keep our focus through some very rough times and come out on the other side of the trials refined by the fire instead of beaten down by people and circumstances. We stand united on principles and values, and it surely is easier when two walk together.

God has blessed our union with two additional kids--both girls and both dolls. We all love our blended family, with traditions from Tim's Northern roots and my Southern ones. My boys make wonderful brothers for the two girls, and they all love each other as though they were full brothers and sisters by blood. I don't think they ever think of it any other way.




Tim is a wonderful husband and father and most of all, Christian. He has more guts than a lot of "weathered" Christians that I know, and he does not compromise the Truth for the sake of family or friendships. The Lord was definitely watching out for me and preserving Tim for me for the time of my life when I would need him.

So now you know our "love story." We are off this weekend to celebrate with the family, so I may be gone for a few days, but I shall return, Lord willing. Everyone have a wonderful 4th, stay safe, obey the laws of the land, and I'll see you when we all get back!