Happy 45th Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Who would pick Groundhog Day as their Wedding Day?

You got it! My parents! On this day in 1961, they tied the knot! They then traveled up the road to the ritzy James K. Polk motel where they had a short honeymoon before they returned to work! 18 months later, I came along! That's another blog! Congratulations on 45 Wonderful Years, Mom and Dad!

(Update! After reading this, Mom decided to remind me of some other details of their wedding and honeymoon. She advises that they did not spend their entire honeymoon at the James K. Polk Motel! Instead, they went on to Memphis! In addition, she says they tried to hide their getaway car in the cemetery (Dad was a mortician at the time, so I guess he thought it would be quiet enough there!) but the bridesmaids and groomsmen got wise to them and followed them there! When Mom and Dad started their little VW bug, it spit shoe polish back on all the groomsmen, bridesmaids, and onlookers! My uncle's brand new suit got totally ruined.

My other uncle, the one who introduced my parents, slipped my dad a pill before the ceremony. He told him that it would help his nerves. Seeing that he was a preacher, my dad believed him. Instead, it was a pill that turns your urine red! By the next morning, my dad thought he was bleeding internally! My uncle and his cohorts had a great laugh out of that one!)

Lists

I can tell you straight up...this post is going to offend people. (But since I only have 2 readers, I am willing to take the heat that is surely going to come.)

I have to say, I am getting a little tired and a lot bored of all the lists on blogs and emails these days. That's me! It may not be the next person. Don't get me wrong. I fully believe that every blogger has the perfect right to make his/her blog unique and personal, and if that means a daily list, then so be it. I don't get especially offended by lists; it's just that if you are going to waste your time like I do every day blogging, then shouldn't it really have some substance to it?

Apparently, some people only think in lists. I suppose it goes something like this in their brains in the morning:

1. I really should get out of this bed.

2. I need to use the facilities.

3. While I am in here, I really should shower.

4. I suppose the kids need feeding.

5. It is time to go grocery shopping.

a. I need eggs, bread, garbage bags, and detergent.
b. I should remember the coupons.

6. I will dress now.

7. I am going out the door.

8. Ouch! I tripped over the dog.......

9. I really need to go to the hospital now.

10. I cannot go to the hospital until I have thought of number 10.

And on goes their brain--continuing the list all day and all night.

Now,in contrast, let me give you a scene from my brain first thing in the morning:

"It is the best of times; it is the worst of times. The sun is peeking in through the small gaps in the Venetian blinds while the smell of aftershave wafts down the hallway and into the bedroom. Here, four children have deposited themselves in various positions in my queen-sized bed. I cannot feel my left arm; it is under one of the children. If I were a good wife, I would be up making a hot breakfast for my husband. I will get up in fifteen minutes. Maybe it will be more like thirty minutes. Life is good."

I am not a list person. I suppose I am a paragraph person. I think in complete sentences, and I prefer to write blocks of material instead of short, choppy thoughts. One has only to read my prolific posts to know what I mean. I guess some people get really bored with that. It is as though they cannot focus through an entire paragraph, much less a soliloquy the size of "War and Peace." I do think it takes training and practice and perhaps something in the genes to make someone an avid reader. Then, to write....well, that takes practice, and patience, and a dab of inspiration helps, too.

Probably some of the most talented writers you know are very manic at times. "Manic" makes for some wonderful, poignant posts. "Depressive" sucks the inspiration right out of the best of them.

I have several blogs I read on a regular basis. Some of the authors are just as punctual as can be in adding posts. Others are sporadic in their contributions to their blogs. I know that the manics in the group will have some good material in a day or two, as soon as the mood strikes them. I understand when the manic/depressives are gone for a while. I know they will be back when they have something they feel is worth saying. I love the deep thinkers, because they take me to places in the mind that are fascinating. At my age, it is a challenge to get the old cylinders in the brain to fire as they should all the time, and I want to keep what little acuity I was given for as long as I can. Since it is getting harder and harder to find my nouns anyway, I need all the help I can get exercising the old brain.

So, I guess I will resist list-making for as long as I can. I want to think deeper, feel more deeply, and maybe cause someone else to reach deeper into their own heart and soul and figure out a little more than what cartoon character or kitchen vegetable they most resemble this week.

O.k. I am done with this rant. Go ahead, you two, and stone me.

What happens when you eat ice cream while you are pregnant....

This is what happens when you eat ice cream while you are pregnant! (I was single-handedly reponsible for raising Breyer's stock prices in 1986!)

Your offspring cannot get enough, no matter how hard he tries. He eats it in the bathtub. He orders it with every meal! He makes working at Baskin-Robbins his life's ambition! Every birthday, he expects an ice cream cake!

So, mothers-to-be, beware! Eat something low in carbs and relatively inexpensive, because you will be buying a lot of it in 18 years of child-rearing!

(left to right, the happy ice -cream- eaters Tony (Dan's new roommate), my Dairy-lovin' Dan, Sarah, and Heather)

Changes

"Soaring over Lexington"

I had a time of my life when I loved listening to country music. I have not enjoyed it particularly in some time, but that is another story. There was a song a while back that was a real tear jerker, and the lyrics said "Life's about changing....nothing ever stays the same...." Somebody was right on the money there. Life has really been changing at the speed of light for me in recent weeks.

Of course, the biggest change has been the departure of our eldest from the nest. Like the eagle does her young, I dropped him from the heights over and over and then swooped down to rescue him repeatedly as he tired in mid-air and began to plummet to earth. Then one day, as all baby eaglets do, he did not tire. He flew magnificently off into the heavens and took his natural place.

I read so many blogs, and some of the moms are lamenting that their kids got mad and left home, or they were rebellious and ran away from home, etc. I was so happy that when the time came for my boy to go, that he and I were in agreement about his life's plans. Sure, I would have preferred, selfishly, that he stay around here and go to college. But I understood his reasons for wanting to go where he went, and since the number one reason was to reach for higher spiritual heights, how could I deny him?

So, now the dynamics of our little family have changed, and it will take me a while to adjust. When you have counted your offspring every time you leave a place to make sure you have not forgotten one, it is hard to leave anywhere with one less than you are used to counting.

We go for fast food, and as the kids scream out the orders from the back of the car, we listen for one more order that never comes. We count burgers and fries on the screen of the drive-thru, and it seems like we are missing something, always. The voice that always called out for a vanilla shake from the mid-section of the S.U.V. is now silent.

And life in the nest goes on. Sarah has had a big week, losing two teeth and having her first stitches in her thumb! Sam and Micah wrestle like bear cubs, with Sam making sure that Micah knows the pecking order! Daddy ponders what changes will happen in the house now that it's even-Steven between the sexes around here again---3 males, 3 females!

Just when we seem to have a good rhythm going, someone asks in a sad little voice, "Can I call Daniel?" (The family talk plan on the cellphone is saving the day right now!) Daniel does not seem to mind that the little ones are testing the limits of unlimited mobile to mobile. I keep thinking the cell phone company is going to call and tell us that they are terribly sorry, but they are losing so much money on us that they are going to have to cancel our plan!

I awoke this morning to Tim calling back to the house and telling me to get up and put the extra locks on the door, as there was a strange man with out of county tags just parked out on the street. Since we live on a dead- end street, very little thru-traffic comes down our road, and I have not known anyone to just park out there before. So we called the police and had them do a drive-by, and I was wishing all the while that my big old strapping 240 lb. boy was here to protect me and the rest of the kids.

A thousand things like that bring Daniel to mind every day. Sometimes, I am very, very happy and proud for him that he has been able to take this time to do what he wants to do and that God worked it all out for him. Other times, if I think too much, I feel like my heart will break. So far, I have not just sat down and cried over his departure as I feared I would. I do, however, tend to get a little more weepy than usual during things that would normally not bring me to tears....like during the watching of Mighty Ducks 3 with the wee ones this last week, or while listening to the new Garth c.d. that I got for Christmas (when the whole audience sang "Unanswered Prayers" word for word and Garth just sat back speechless and let them do it), or during passionate speeches.

I cannot quite claim the empty nest syndrome, as my nest does not look like it will be empty at least until sometime about 2022, the good Lord willing. By then, I will probably be covered up with grandkids and teenaged girls and be trying to keep their daddy from shooting at all the potential suitors.

However, there is a big empty spot in the nest where my giant clumsy "baby" bird rested in our own humble haven. Our family singings, impromtu events on the dark roads between counties as we travel back and forth to worship and to shop and to share some family time, will lack both the volume and the harmony that existed when there were 7 voices.

Now, too, there is a little less laundry and lot more leftover at dinner. There is a little more room in the nest for the other babies to stretch their wings, but something tells me that if they had their way, they would not mind crowding up once again anytime to make room for their gentle giant of a brother.

"Can we call Daniel?"

Elvis Has Left the Building!

Daniel, his new roommates, and some friends who came to welcome him to Lexington! (The girls live elsewhere :) )

My two readers have probably noticed that I have not updated in a LONG time! We have been a little busy getting my eldest moved up to Lexington, KY. It was quite an ordeal, but I am happy to say that it was a positive experience overall! Daniel is sooooo happy, and that makes it all worthwhile!

Our trip started last Friday. It was a gorgeous day, unlike the previous weekend, which was totally soggy. We had no troubles getting the truck loaded with all of Daniel's earthly goods, and we proceeded on to my parents' town to pick up a single bed and a table and chairs that the relatives were donating to this housefull of boys in Kentucky.

On Sat. morning, we got up and prepared to leave for KY. Then, we realized that the key to the big Penske truck was missing! Everyone in the family looked for two hours. We finally figured that it must have fallen out of Tim's pocket at the Kroger parking lot the night before, and it was just lost! So, Tim had to ride 30 miles up the road to a locksmith friend-of-my-dad's to get another key cut for the truck. That done, we got on the road for KY at about 3 p.m., much later than we wanted to be starting.

We did not have much choice but to go on, as we wanted to make worship services in Lexington on Sunday morning. We arrived at the house where Daniel would be living, and we hoped to offload his car at least, so we could lose the trailer we were pulling behind the 26 foot truck. After Tim had already turned the truck into the cul-de-sac Daniel lives on, we realized that with all the cars parked on the street down there, there was no place to go with the truck. For the next hour, we all stood out in the street in the freezing cold trying to back a huge truck and trailer back out onto a busy street without getting anyone killed!

We finally checked into a hotel about 2 in the morning local time. We had managed to offload the car and return the trailer part to a seedy area of town without becoming statistics. We got about 4 hours of sleep before it was time to roll out for church.

It is mornings like this that the old devil really tempts you to stay in bed. I am glad I overcame temptation. The services of the church were just wonderful. The preacher made me cry. Of course, knowing that I was going to have to leave my son in a few hours did not help my emotions any. The sermon was centered around the idea that we live in earthly "tents" --our bodies which are fragile and temporary. Everyone at this church was grieving the loss of a young man they had been working with in hopes he would become a Christian. Instead, he had died of an apparent accidental drug overdose the previous Thursday. The preacher did a wonderful job of interweaving the lesson with the facts of this boy's life and death. He told about how the boy, Justin, had been asked by one of the elders if he ever felt his heart being tugged during the invitation. He said that yes, he had felt that tugging, but he was too scared to step out and walk down the aisle in front of all those people to confess Jesus. The elder had told the preacher that they were going to have to help Justin a little, if they had to walk with him down the aisle. They never got the chance. Justin died before he ever came back to services. So the preacher said he was going to do things a little different that morning and walk up and down the aisles in case there was anyone else there who needed a little help getting down the aisle!

As the invitation song was sung, the tears were just rolling down my face, as I thought of that poor mother who was losing her son forever. I was just dropping mine off temporarily, hopefully to see him again, many, many times. She would never talk to her son again; mine is at the other end of a cellphone. I figured the preacher would think that I was some nut or some potential penitent, standing there blubbering like a baby. But I could not help it, as the sermon and now his gesture towards the lost was just so sweet! Some preachers are "hot dogs" or "showboats," pulling stunts like this for the theatrical effect of it all. It was surely not like that with this man. He was so genuine---so truly devastated that Justin was not ever going to walk that aisle.

At any rate, after services were over, Tim and I introduced ourselves to the preacher and the elders there and told them that we were leaving Daniel in their care. It looks like Daniel is going to be so happy there. There are so many young people his own age for the first time in a lot of years! He said there were about 30 in his college class, which stands to reason since U of K is there. His three roommates are all Christians! They already seem to have that fraternal bond that is so wonderful!

Daniel wasted no time in his new digs. By the time we got there Monday, he pretty well had his room set up! He was lacking curtains and a computer desk, so we went out to shop for a little while before we had to get back on the road. Hannah was the only kid with us, and it was hard for her to leave her big brother. Sarah has had a rough time of it as well. I know we will all adjust in time to Dan not living here, but it will take a while.

On Tuesday night, I called Daniel to see how things were going. He was in the car with some of his roommates, going across town to a gospel meeting! Now that's what a mother likes to hear that her 19 year old son is doing on his first night away from her!

Wednesday night, we showed up at church for the first time without Daniel in tow. We were met in the parking lot by Jared, a young man that Daniel had invited to services. Jared just lost his dad in December, and then he was hit by another driver last week and his car was totaled. Luckily, Jared was o.k. I was happy to have an extra boy with us. He is still very distressed over his father's death and needs lots of encouragement right now. Daniel was ecstatic later to hear Jared had come to services. We will try to finish the work Daniel started.

Daniel already has gotten a job with the help of his roommate, Jeremy. Daniel is going to be a Barrister (sp?)! He is going to be working at Starbucks for the present, and he will be looking to enroll at U of K as soon as he has established his residency! Hopefully there are great things and great times in store for him.

So, yes, my little towhead is all grown up and is out of the nest now. Life is going to be different now for us all, but it makes it a lot easier knowing that he is in good hands all around! If you are reading this, son, be happy and live well! And send your old mom some coffee from time to time!

One tired, happy boy with his friend, Heather

Busy Weeks

In my last post, as you will recall, I revealed that Tennessee has changed its name to New Florida. The weather here lately has been the wackiest that I have seen in my 43+ years of living here (with brief stints in a few other states now and then.) It has been so warm that at times we have had to raise the windows in the house and put the a.c. on in the car. I have never seen that in January.

Last Friday, the family was all in position to move Daniel to Lexington to begin his official adult life! Tim took the day off, and we were set to start loading as soon as we picked up the truck. Well, first thing that morning, my mother called and asked if we knew that snow was moving into the area, and that Lexington was supposed to get around 3 inches. We were unaware, because we do not have cable any more. By the time we got up and going good, it started to rain. Then, it began to more like monsoon. Tim made a command decision that putting a 26 foot truck on the lawn in the midst of this and then driving 5 hours up the interstate in a possible snowstorm towing another car with me following in our S.U.V. was not how he wanted Daniel to start out his adult life! So, we postponed until this weekend.

The weather has been erratic all week. One day it drops down and snows, and the next, it seems to be back up to 60 degrees. It is no wonder that there is so much sickness around. We need a good hard, prolonged deep freeze to kill off the bugs (insects) and the bugs (germs.)

So, I guess we are going to try again to do the Lexington thing sometime this weekend. We have the truck all weekend, so we don't have to hurry, which is good. Still, it is going to be hard to let go of my firstborn. Those who have not been through it cannot know what I am speaking of. I told someone that Daniel has been with me longer than I have ever been with anyone on earth. He has been with me longer than I lived at home before college. He has been with me longer than I have been married to either of my two husbands. He has been with me since I was 24, so I guess technically, we grew up together.

Daniel has been such a little man all of his life. He was wanting to preach when he was about 5. He informed me when he was 8 that he was the "man of the house" now that his father had left the picture. He has always been incredibly protective of his little brothers and now his sisters. He has always been protective of me as well.

Yes, life will be different for all of us with one of us up in the Bluegrass State. I am happy for him, though. He has done his homework well and found good companions with which to live. It will be four Christian boys in a house--all working and/or going to school. I pray that they will all come to love and appreciate and support one another and build a great relationship.

Meanwhile, I will be a busy bee when we get back. We are going to start an overhaul of the house, moving people around in different bedrooms, painting, sprucing up, etc. I'm looking forward to tossing out a lot of things the kids have outgrown and getting a little new furniture and refinishing some of the older stuff I am getting from my mom. Hopefully, when all is said and done, the girls will have my old bedroom suit, and I will have a thing or two that belonged to my grandmother.

Have a great week and weekend, wherever you are, and I will see you on the flip side of the weekend, Lord willing.

Announcements

Just a couple of brief announcements....

First, Tennessee has changed its name to New Florida. 70 degree temperatures forced us to run our car air conditioner at times yesterday. Weather records are being broken right and left. All traces of winter have vanished. My children shall never see snow again. (The littlest ones have never seen it.) We now have the weather Florida had years ago when everyone raced down there to live. Now, they just have hurricanes 9 months out of the year, and we somehow inherited their weather patterns. We may be forced to move back to New Jersey where Tennessee weather has now gone to reside.

Secondly, here in New Florida, due to certain current trends in America, we demand that everyone be politically correct towards us as well. Kentuckians, Tennesseans (New Floridians,) and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

Thank you very much!

Christmas Pics

Finally....getting some pics up from the Christmas festivities, 2005....





As you can see, somebody had a sense of humor laying out some cookies for Santa! "Mr. Happyface" was baked and decorated by Sarah and Hannah! Next picture is obviously later....

Do I see a few whiskers at the bottom left of that plate?

Before the carnage.....

And after the carnage! Mommy helps put the furniture in Dora's house!








Sam takes a look at his new sheet set in Tennessee orange...and Tommy Hilfiger of course! Later, he checks out his new threads!

Daniel checks out his new down comforter for his new room in Kentucky! (next) checking out the Dockers and the new Phantom of the Opera novel!




Sarah tries without success to wake Micah to open his presents! Unfortunately, the little guy stayed up too late waiting on Santa, and he slept through much of the present opening!


Eventually, Micah woke up enough to demonstrate the proper use of a light saber!




Hannah delights at her new Cabbage Patch baby who shares her birthday!




Sarah shows off a new Leap Pad book that looks to be fun for this girl who enjoys reading so much!




Hannah says, "All I really care about is the chocolate!" Now there's a girl after my own heart!




Sarah looks at two "vintage" toys she asked for---the "Barbie Jet" and the "My Size Barbie House!" (I love eBay and consignment stores, because old toys are better than this new junk they make!) Hannah promptly thought the new house was for her to live in and climbed in! It's that big!





Later, at my parents' house, my brother Doug models the Snickers toupee he made for our "thinning-haired" brother Drew!




Drew and wife, Brooke think Doug is "just hilarious." (Yeah, right! )



Steph and Doug discuss whether a rug or a Snickers Toupee is more effective on Doug, since he will be needing one (a toupee) soon! (Not really, just thought it made a good caption!)



Dad is temporarily buried under a pile of Christmas packages!



Mom and brother Daniel share some hot drinks on a cold day!




Tim and Drew are pretty intently watching the Batman movie! It was pretty intense!




Sarah, and Sarah with her beloved cousin, Ben! In the right of the 2nd picture, in the background, you can see a stocking for our brother, Don, who did not sneak in from Germany as we had hoped he might!

(We'll freeze your candy, Bro.!)

The cousins open their goodies!

Mom shows Dad one of her Christmas pictures as Micah looks on

Doug in the obligatory candid photo that I make of him at every major family event! ( I know I will suffer retaliation photos)

Pappy looks ecstatic to receive his Steve McNair doll! He mumbles, "I really wanted Donovan McNabb!" (inside joke)

After presents, the cousins treat us to their "Grand Opening," a concert highlighting their talents. Kelsey played piano, Sarah sang, and Ben did gymnastics until the unfortunate collision with the Baby Grand piano.



Dan, Steph, and Baby Lauren enjoy the concert! (and some dessert!)



Kelsey plays....




Sarah sings....



Ben---just before the unfortunate accident... fortunately, there were no permanent injuries, to Ben or the piano which has endured two generations of performers!


Tim took the camera and made one of me, Brooke and Drew, so that I could get in a Christmas pic or two!


(Hey, Anne, I made it into 1 1/2 pictures this year!)

Happy 2006!

I have not been on in a while, and that is fine, because one of my New Year's resolutions is that I will not be a slave to my blog! :) Writing should be fun, not a burden, and let's face it, sometimes we are just not in the mood to write. So, when the mood strikes, I will be here, and when it doesn't, I have plenty of other things calling my name.

I thought it would be nice to reflect on some of my favorite things of 2005 as the year has come to a close. All in all, it was not a terrible year, nor was it a great year, personally. I feel very blessed that none of the tragedies that happened to so many of our fellow human beings happened to me or my close family or friends. I had a few family members in Texas affected by the hurricanes, and we lost my dear grandmother in Florida over Thanksgiving, but for the most part, we were spared a lot of the devastation that so many in this country and others faced.

Here are some of my favorite memories of 2005 in no particular order....

----We shared a lot of great moments with our two--yes, two--church families. Circumstances and driving distance necessitate that we worship mid-week with a group closer to us, and on Sundays, we drive a little farther. Both groups have been very understanding of our circumstances and have allowed us to do what we can for each group. We have shared a lot of laughter and tears in both places, and we rejoice that we know so many fine folks in both places who really care if their worship to God is how He wants it rather than how men would change it into what they want. We have also had opportunities to visit some other churches in other counties and states this year, and we have enjoyed being with them. I especially cherish every word--every wise and kind and loving word--that came out of the mouth of one of our dear elders. He is having the fight of his life with cancer, and his example of stamina and courage in the face of horrendous physical challenges has been nothing short of breath-taking to me. I love the times we were with him in his home, and I am glad that we got to share some good times with him this year. I have never personally been under a better collective eldership in the church than the one we are currently under. I revere these three godly men so much, and I owe them a debt that cannot be paid for their watching out for my soul. Being a Christian is truly the greatest blessing one can claim!

----Traveling like we have has made it possible for us to spend more time with my parents, siblings, their spouses, and my nieces and nephews! We especially had a ball in my parents' new inground pool, which we really began enjoying this year! My kids would have stayed at my Mom and Dad's from May until October if we would have let them! It is great to have a place where we can swim privately (but still modestly) and enjoy my favorite outdoor activity! Dad got a new grill in 2005, and we only got a couple of chances to use it before it got cold. So, hopefully this year, we will use it lots and lots!

----We had one of the nicest trips to New Jersey in 2005 that we have ever had. The weather was great, the food and the company with Tim's family was tremendous, and nearly all of us cried when we had to go. (The boys don't cry as easily as the girls!) Each year that Tim and I have with our parents is a great blessing to us, and it is one we do not take for granted.

----I have enjoyed my first year of blogging. I hope others have been blessed by my ramblings, but even if no one ever read anything I wrote, I have enjoyed doing it.

----My firstborn son graduated from high school this year. Not only was the graduation ceremony tops, but we got to share it with so many of the most important people in our lives. Dan, Sam and Micah all came out at the top of their classes when the honors were handed out, and I was the proudest Mom in the place for sure! I have been so proud of my kids, especially this year, because I see so many kids in trouble--kids who have everything in the world materially, but who are not happy, obedient, or on track to be good Christian adults. While my kids are nowhere near perfect, they are spiritually-minded, and they show their light to the extent that other people notice and mention it to me frequently! My kids don't know sometimes that Mama is looking over their shoulder at their on-line conversations, and I am pleased as punch sometimes to find them engaging other Christians and even non-Christians in thoughtful debate and chats on Biblical matters. Since I am ever fighting against the influence of their father, who chooses not to walk in the light, I never take anything for granted when it comes to their proper raising. That is one reason we returned to home schooling in 2005, and I am glad we are doing it! The closeness I share with my kids cannot be expressed in words.


----I learned a lot of lessons about myself in 2005. I had to develop a lot more patience than I had in previous years. Part of that came from dealing with a busy two-year-old at age 43. Some of my patience gained came as a result of dealing with rude and obnoxious people, who seem to be multiplying in our society faster than nice people are. A lot of patience came from living through situations over which I had totally no control and managing to make it out the other side intact. Sometimes you find yourself in uncomfortable situations, and you think you are just going to die before you can get through it. I discovered that I could make it through some things that I did not know I had the strength or the courage to do, and I was still alive! I learned a lot about human nature. I did not punch out one single, solitary jerk! I have learned to control my "Irish" temper more this year than in any year in recent memory. I still have a lot of growing to do in my "Christian graces," but I am finally making some forward progress.

----Tim and the kids and I have made some great memories in 2005 and documented a lot of them on film. While I made absolutely no headway on scrapbooking my kids' lives, I at least photographed them doing lots and lots of different things. Hopefully, this will mean something to all of them when they are older.

----Some good friends have invited us into their lives in times of adversity, and we have been blessed by sharing in suffering with them. While that may sound awfully strange, it really is not. I like to think that we were able to encourage several people in their last days on earth. With others, we held their hands while they said goodbye to a loved one. We have tried to do what we could for some who were suffering unimaginable trials, and we were the ones who ended up being blessed by them, in many cases. Their courage and strength serve as examples which will not quickly leave our minds on how to behave in times of sickness and misfortune. I hope we have learned their lessons well.

----We rejoice in the obvious blessings of life! As 2005 came to a close, Tim still had a job, we were all reasonably healthy, we had everything we need and so much more, and most of those we love were still with us. Not only do we have the love of the two previously- mentioned churches, but we have also been welcomed often by a third group that we worship with when we visit our Tennessee family. They treat us like we are home every time we show up. It is good to belong, good to be missed, good to worship in good conscience wherever we go. After all, we are spiritual beings in earthly bodies, and we are just pilgrims here. Our home country is on the other side of eternity, and we are getting closer and closer to returning home each and every day. I don't ever remember a year where I "got it" more than I did in 2005. It makes sense now more than ever. My mortality is real, and that makes living sweeter every day. When you know where you are headed, it seems to make it a whole lot easier to find your way. As Tim and I said in our wedding vows, in part, "looking toward heaven 'til death do us part...." Here we sit tonight in this house, seven people looking toward heaven. I take nothing for granted. Maybe one or more of my kids will fall off the path in 2006, but I hope at the end of the year I can say either that we are still looking toward heaven, or "Lord, it's good to be home!" Whatever God wills is fine with me.


2006 will surely bring more changes, as life is about changing. The earth does not sit still. I know that one son will be moving on to start his adult life, and as much as I hate letting him go, I am proud that he has cast his lot with other Christians already and that he will continue to have good people to urge him on. The next boy will turn 18 this year, and that will probably mean changes for him, too.

As I exited church Sunday morning, I could not help but think of so many who were with us last January 1st who are now gone. I wondered who would still be there January 1, 2007, if the Lord does not come back first. I am not meant to know these things, so for now, I just intend to love my husband, love my kids, and cherish my friends and family as much as I can, knowing that it all can change in the blink of an eye. I look forward to raising my kids each day and having a ball doing it! What blessings they are to me (well, most days anyway!)

I pray that each and every one who reads these words will be blessed this year and that you will have a profitable and happy 2006!

It's Almost That Time.....

I have always been a dreamer...a romantic...somewhat of an idealist. I can't blame anyone or anything in my life for making me what I am. It is who I have been every since I realized that I had an opinion. Teachers called me an incurable romantic and an optimist.

As I have grown older, (and older and older,) I have become more tempered in my idealism, my optimism, and even in my romanticism somewhat.

Christmas rolls around every 365 days or so, but in the past several years, it has seemed like it comes about every 3 months. I just get the needles cleaned up off the carpets before the next tree is coming in the door, shedding as she goes.

When I was little, Christmas was so simple. There was absolutely no stress---no really important decisions to be made. (My mother says, "Yeah, right!") Then I grew up. We all do, and how we handle the days like Christmas changes and evolves with us.

As I end this year, I am 43 years old. You would think by my thought processes that I was nearer to 90 sometimes. I am tired. I admit it. 5 kids and 19 Christmases with kids have worn me out. I cannot even bear to fathom the thought right now that I have at least 16 more years to provide a Christmas experience for a kid with big ole brown eyes, searching my eyes for clues as to what the "big day" will bring.

I cannot deny them their day! I had 18 years of my parents making Christmas look like it was a breeze. Sometimes I wonder, am I doing something wrong? Why is it so much harder for me to make it to the morning of December 25th, arriving with my sanity still intact? How did my mother always manage to have presents wrapped and under the tree, Santa's "arrival" perfectly scheduled, while still working a full-time job and raising 5 kids just like me? She had such grace--not a hair out of place and no bags under the eyes on Christmas morning from all the previous nights of missed sleep! I contend that the finesse with which my parents pulled off Christmas argues for the existence of Santa Claus, because they could not possibly have done it all!

I think I started to notice the change in me the year I assembled the Batmobile pedal car after getting two hyper little boys into bed sometime after midnight. I don't think I have ever been so tired in my life. My twin brothers were mere babes back then---teens who stayed out til the wee wee hours. I remember them coming in the door of my parents' house where we had all assembled for Christmas at about 2 in the morning, and them watching me struggle with the tools as I put that stupid car together. It was obvious that they did not "get it" yet. They had no idea how tired I was, how frustrated, how mad at myself for purchasing this stupid pile of indiscernible plastic and metal parts. I wanted to scream, "Run away! Don't get married, have kids, settle down just yet! Or you, too, will be assembling unassemblable toys with a thousand unlabeled parts, when you should be cuddling up by the fire with that special someone sipping hot cocoa and watching the snow fall outside."

Yes, there is something about becoming the giver instead of the receiver that changes you forever. Some of it is for the good. Some of it is rather sad, especially if you are an "incurable romantic."

I have changed. My husband asked me this year what I wanted for Christmas. I could not think of a thing. I truly have everything I need. While that sounds trite, it is accurate. Oh, yes, a new multi-megapixel digital camera or a state-of-the-art computer upgrade would be nice, but they are not necessary to my happiness.

What I would love, I can't have. World peace. A cure for cancer. Instant obliteration of all the evil troublers of this world. Brotherly love. These things are obviously not material goods. But no one can get these things for me.

I guess at some point, I have transformed into more of a spiritual creature and less of an earthly one. That is good, I believe. At best, none of us has too many more "Christmases" left on this earth. As my grandmother used to say, "It is all gonna burn up some day."

Still, the little ones are hyper. "Santa" is coming. I love seeing the joy in their eyes on Christmas morn. I adore it if we just happen to get a white Christmas. I will cherish the time with my parents, Lord willing, one more year. I am proud another 365 days has passed, and none of my loved ones will be missing from the table of celebration by the grace of God. I will celebrate the last Christmas at home for my firstborn, before he begins his own journey towards becoming the giver. It is all so sweet and so bittersweet at the same time.

I am more content than I have ever been in my life. That does not mean that my life is perfect or that there are things I would not change if I could. It just means that all is well for me today. Whatever happens is o.k., too. I am so grateful for that. I embrace that thought and thank God for His part in providing all I need and more.

I am tired, but I will make it. One day, there will be no more "assembly required" and I will hopefully sit by the fire with my beloved, snuggling close, as we sip some cocoa and look out at the snow falling. It's a ways off, but I have just enough of the romantic left in me to be able to see it if I squint hard enough and just enough of the optimist left in me to believe it will come one day. And if the truth be known, there is probably just enough of the idealist still left inside me to
entertain the notion that there is more going on at the North Pole than global warming.

Grandmother in the Mirror

2005 has been a year of much reflection in my life. As we close the year, I have realized that for the first time since I was born, I will be missing all three of the grandmothers I was given. December 6th and 7th are always days of memories for me. Two of my grandmothers were born on these days, respectively. One grandmother then died on the 6th, on the other grandmother’s birthday, and the day before her own 83rd birthday. The dates are intertwined with memories of laughter and tears, celebration and quiet memorials.

Not everyone is as attached to their grandmothers as I was. Some poor souls never even get the chance to know their parents’ parents. I was blessed. I was the oldest child in my family, and I came when my parents were but exiting their teen years. When I was born in ’62, one grandmother was 42 and the other was 58. I would gain another step-grandmother the following year, and she was 43 when she married my grandfather. I am the age now that two of my grandmothers were when they got that esteemed title. Being the oldest, I had many good years with all my grandparents before they departed this life.

I lived in the same town with the grandmother I called “Nanny.” I was, perhaps, the closest to her, because somehow our spirits just bonded from the moment we set eyes on one another. My mother says that I laughed out loud when I saw Nanny at just a couple of days old. The laughter never stopped as long as I knew her. She was such a joyful person. I learned so much from her and carry strong memories in my heart of her, even though she was the first to leave.

Mammaw, my dad’s mom, was a memorable soul as well. In the South, we would call her a “character.” (I think she called me that more than once, too!) She was someone that once you knew her, it was hard to forget her. She was the shopping granny---the one that always brought something delightful each and every time she came to see me. We did not always live in the same town, so I saw her less. She saw to it that my brothers and I were always dolled up in the cutest outfits, and she stocked my entire doll collection. She was big on Christmas and Thanksgiving, and she never forgot to send a Valentine.

We just lost grandma #3 over Thanksgiving. MaiMai always lived in Florida and we saw her least. Whenever we did get to go down there, she was always a very gracious hostess, providing us with luscious meals, cozy beds, and plenty of homemade remedies for the sunburn we always got down there.

Each grandmother was unique—not really like the other two. I guess that was a good thing, because it allowed me to love them all for their one-of-a-kind qualities. Having an extra set of grandparents in there allowed me and my siblings to be extra-spoiled.

Often, I look in the mirror, and I am shocked to see one of my grandmothers looking back at me. No, it is not a ghost. It is biology. Sometimes I see more of one than the other. My daddy "rags on me" because I love to wear the same hair color that Mammaw did, and he hated it on her, too. Nanny’s laugh lines are appearing all over my face. I can do that same stern look that Mammaw would do when she got serious about something. You did not want to see that face on her, and my family does not like it either! I find myself doing the same silly face as I potty train Hannah that my Nanny did with me.

Maybe it sounds cheesy and all to say that my grandmothers live on through me. It seems like somehow, they do. My father has commented on more than one occasion that as long as I was alive, his mother would not be dead. I get it now more than ever. I hope it is some comfort to my family when they spot of glimpse of one of my grandmothers as I go by. The trait is not unique to me. I see glimpses of my relatives in each one of my family members. My husband was recently stunned to meet my “twin” cousin, who is so much like me that it is scary. It was especially scary when she pulled her lipstick out of her purse and it was the same as mine! Many times we sit and stare at one another at family reunions and comment, "You look so much like....."

Maybe that is why God allowed us to look like our ancestors. Even when they are gone, we get subtle reminders of them through our family members, and we hopefully are reminded to mimic the good in them and to try and not copy their failings.

Today is Pearl Harbor Day. It is a day of memory of special events that happened in our country’s history. But it is also a day for me of personal memories. Had these women not lived, I obviously would not be here today, so I owe them my existence. Beyond that, I owe them so much more, for shaping me into the woman I am today—for teaching me how to love my husband and kids, how to cook, how to make a happy home, what’s important in life. I seem to look in the mirror a lot more these days. It’s not vanity. I’m just hoping to get a passing glance at some grandmothers that I miss very much.

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

I surely am glad that I am not where I was 19 years ago or even 18 years ago. Childbirth is a breeze for some, a terrifying experience for others. My first attempt at childbirth was quite difficult, but as most mothers will testify, the product, my first son, was well worth all the anguish it took to get him into the world. I can hardly believe that the years have passed so quickly, and what seemed at the time like slow-motion child-rearing has turned to years passing so swiftly now that I can scarce keep up with them.

Daniel turned 19 today! 2005 has been quite a year for him, graduating and all. I know my good friend Cindy in South Carolina can remember the long hours we put in in the labor room trying to get this child to come on out and see the world. Cindy stood in for my mother who was in Tennessee waiting all day for news on her first grandchild. Daniel waited until almost the last possible hours of December 5th to make his arrival. And they had to cut him out at that! But once he got into this world, he has never stopped going and going and going......just like the bunny on the commercial.

Daniel has always been a challenge and a blessing wrapped in one giant package! He has always made me proud by his accomplishments and his behavior throughout his life. He is stubborn, intense, and headstrong, but he is also compassionate, loving, caring, and gentle. He has filled many shoes, even before he was old enough to step into some of them. He has always been a protector, of me, and of his siblings. He is as crazy about his half-sisters as he is his full brothers. In his mind, there is no "half" to it. He has two sisters and two brothers.

His entire life, I have been approached by people who started the conversation with..."let me tell you what Daniel did." 99% of the time, it was something good. Usually, it was humorous and embarassing as well, but most often, it was concerning some good or compassionate thing he had done. I used to cringe when Bible class teachers met me in the aisle with a smile, because I knew that they were going to have another Daniel story for me. There were some doozies.

Daniel is much like the apostle Peter, apparently, from everything we can read of Peter. Sometimes Peter opened his mouth when he shouldn't have, and he tried to walk on water, etc. Daniel is not afraid of jumping out there on the stormy sea either. Recently, he took his old hand-me-down beater car up to Kentucky to see some friends. I told him that he was taking his life into his own hands to get up there in that old car. He just had to go. He made it back, finally, but when he was within 30 miles of the house, the brakes were failing, and it was raining heavily, and thankfully, he had the sense enough to pull over and quit and let us get him the rest of the way home.

He comes by his impetuousness honestly. Everyone says that he is just like his mother. We do think quite a bit alike on things, except for the fact that he is a man and I am a woman. That brings a certain degree of difference to the table. I have always been able to talk about anything with him, and he has had incredible communication skills all of his life. I don't think his peers have always understood him, because he was on a different wave-length from most of them. Sometimes that makes for some loneliness, because your peers are interested in things you passed by 3 or 4 years ago.

I still wonder what Daniel will ultimately decide to do with his life. That's another way in which he is like me. He has not fully decided what career path to take. It took me a few years longer than most to decide what I wanted out of life. Daniel has a lot of talents. His singing voice just developed from an o.k. voice to a magnificent one last year. I love it when he leads singing at church. He loves to listen to people's problems and try to help them sort things out, so I sort of suspect that he may go in that direction for a career. I have told him that with his cooking talents, he could go into the culinary arts, but he does not seem to have any desire to work in a kitchen all of his life. He has expressed a desire to preach.

I suspect that by this time next year, Lord-willing, he will have made some of the first decisions about which road he will take. It surely will be hard to watch him go. His siblings are all going to be to bury (and his mom will probably cry some buckets, too.) I guess it is always hardest to lose the first one from the nest. I have no doubts that he will find his way, as he always has, pretty independently and head-strong. Like other moms, I pray that God has been preparing some fine young lady for him and will bring them together when the time is right.

Whatever happens in the coming days, I'll cherish the memories of raising this exceptional boy, and I will look forward to watching him exceed the expectations of many who are unaware of the dynamo within his one-of-a-kind spirit. My gentle giant is now about 5 feet taller and 234 lbs. heavier than he was on this day 19 years ago, but he still can touch my heart just as effectively as he did the first time I laid eyes on him way back then.