Changes

"Soaring over Lexington"

I had a time of my life when I loved listening to country music. I have not enjoyed it particularly in some time, but that is another story. There was a song a while back that was a real tear jerker, and the lyrics said "Life's about changing....nothing ever stays the same...." Somebody was right on the money there. Life has really been changing at the speed of light for me in recent weeks.

Of course, the biggest change has been the departure of our eldest from the nest. Like the eagle does her young, I dropped him from the heights over and over and then swooped down to rescue him repeatedly as he tired in mid-air and began to plummet to earth. Then one day, as all baby eaglets do, he did not tire. He flew magnificently off into the heavens and took his natural place.

I read so many blogs, and some of the moms are lamenting that their kids got mad and left home, or they were rebellious and ran away from home, etc. I was so happy that when the time came for my boy to go, that he and I were in agreement about his life's plans. Sure, I would have preferred, selfishly, that he stay around here and go to college. But I understood his reasons for wanting to go where he went, and since the number one reason was to reach for higher spiritual heights, how could I deny him?

So, now the dynamics of our little family have changed, and it will take me a while to adjust. When you have counted your offspring every time you leave a place to make sure you have not forgotten one, it is hard to leave anywhere with one less than you are used to counting.

We go for fast food, and as the kids scream out the orders from the back of the car, we listen for one more order that never comes. We count burgers and fries on the screen of the drive-thru, and it seems like we are missing something, always. The voice that always called out for a vanilla shake from the mid-section of the S.U.V. is now silent.

And life in the nest goes on. Sarah has had a big week, losing two teeth and having her first stitches in her thumb! Sam and Micah wrestle like bear cubs, with Sam making sure that Micah knows the pecking order! Daddy ponders what changes will happen in the house now that it's even-Steven between the sexes around here again---3 males, 3 females!

Just when we seem to have a good rhythm going, someone asks in a sad little voice, "Can I call Daniel?" (The family talk plan on the cellphone is saving the day right now!) Daniel does not seem to mind that the little ones are testing the limits of unlimited mobile to mobile. I keep thinking the cell phone company is going to call and tell us that they are terribly sorry, but they are losing so much money on us that they are going to have to cancel our plan!

I awoke this morning to Tim calling back to the house and telling me to get up and put the extra locks on the door, as there was a strange man with out of county tags just parked out on the street. Since we live on a dead- end street, very little thru-traffic comes down our road, and I have not known anyone to just park out there before. So we called the police and had them do a drive-by, and I was wishing all the while that my big old strapping 240 lb. boy was here to protect me and the rest of the kids.

A thousand things like that bring Daniel to mind every day. Sometimes, I am very, very happy and proud for him that he has been able to take this time to do what he wants to do and that God worked it all out for him. Other times, if I think too much, I feel like my heart will break. So far, I have not just sat down and cried over his departure as I feared I would. I do, however, tend to get a little more weepy than usual during things that would normally not bring me to tears....like during the watching of Mighty Ducks 3 with the wee ones this last week, or while listening to the new Garth c.d. that I got for Christmas (when the whole audience sang "Unanswered Prayers" word for word and Garth just sat back speechless and let them do it), or during passionate speeches.

I cannot quite claim the empty nest syndrome, as my nest does not look like it will be empty at least until sometime about 2022, the good Lord willing. By then, I will probably be covered up with grandkids and teenaged girls and be trying to keep their daddy from shooting at all the potential suitors.

However, there is a big empty spot in the nest where my giant clumsy "baby" bird rested in our own humble haven. Our family singings, impromtu events on the dark roads between counties as we travel back and forth to worship and to shop and to share some family time, will lack both the volume and the harmony that existed when there were 7 voices.

Now, too, there is a little less laundry and lot more leftover at dinner. There is a little more room in the nest for the other babies to stretch their wings, but something tells me that if they had their way, they would not mind crowding up once again anytime to make room for their gentle giant of a brother.

"Can we call Daniel?"