I know when it first occurred to me that I wanted to homeschool my children. It was right after 9/11 that it seemed like a lot of things were changed forever. Someone has said that those terrorists took away America's innocence; I know they took away any security I had!
Like the mother hen, I wanted to gather my chicks under my wings. Sadly, it is not a whole lot safer under there in reality, but for kids, the feeling of security is quite important, and I felt I had to do all I could to make it so. The tragedies of Columbine and Oklahoma City were still fresh wounds for the country at that time. In our small part of the cosmos, a drunken, abusive bus driver, incompetent teachers, and distraught children provided the final impetus to become a homeschooling family.
Our homeschooling has been "on-again, off-again," affected by circumstances, not choice. When I nearly died from complications after my fifth child was born, we had to put the kids into a private school for a time. When that was no longer expedient, they came home again, hopefully for the last time. When God says "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it" and (regarding His Word) "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up...." I take Him seriously. I want to be an instrument in the Great Potter's hands, molding these little hearts.
I guess there will always be debate about the pros and cons of home education. I get asked often why I am homeschooling. In the end, each family must come to terms with what is best for the children of that family. It is as personal and private a topic as how many children a couple decide to have. No one should have the right to tell you how many kids to have or how to raise them and educate them, unless, of course, you have forfeited your rights due to abusive or irresponsible parenting. However, each parent must realize that some day, he or she will have to account for the decisions he/she made.
I think that some things are different now than they were even when I was a young girl in school, and barely one generation has passed since then! I believe that television and the internet have been two of the greatest factors in changing how we raise our children. Many parents are beginning to realize that if children are left to have all the time they want watching whatever they want on t.v., behaviors will come about in the children that are difficult or impossible to counter with any amount of teaching or hauling them to church services.
Additionally, churches have changed so much over the past few years that more of them resemble social clubs than they do a body of religious believers. We cannot expect the church to do the job with which we have been entrusted, anyway. More of us must get it in our heads that we cannot surrender that job to anyone or any organization.
Secondly, the internet has changed the way people live, and the fruit of unrestrained access is now beginning to be harvested by many a stunned and saddened parent. It is nearly impossible to hear a newscast without there being a story about someone who has been captured in an internet sting in some illicit online activity. Both adults and children have become addicted to the dark side of something that has so many wonderful uses otherwise. Yet, even with all the warnings, some parents bury their heads in the sand and pretend that their child will not become a statistic.
There is one more thing which I am not really sure about in terms of whether it is a new thing or something that has always been problematic. That would be the lack of love and communication between parents and children. We all know about "generation gaps" and times in our kids' lives where they are less likely to have meaningful conversations with us. What I am seeing, though, are families where the parents and the children rarely ever talk to one another, period! Meals are eaten on the run, and there is rarely any time to ever sit down and really talk with one another, much less share the deepest thoughts of the heart. In other families, communication is good between the parents and some of the kids, and others of the children seem like they are invisible to the parents. They somehow manage to grow up, raising themselves in effect, with no real encouragement or support from the parents.
I knew a family once where the mother and father were socialites, rarely home at all when the children were awake. The kids had everything they needed for a comfortable life---except available parents. I felt so sorry for those kids. They spent more time with sitters than they did with the man and woman who very much wanted them in the beginning. I should know; I was one of the sitters! To me, these parents sold out! They made a commitment when they created these kids, and they bought their way out of the contract about half-way through the child-rearing process. Neither of these kids have ever married or started a family. I guess they don't know where to begin.
I know why I homeschool my kids. I want them to have the best shot at heaven that they can possibly have. That is the bottom line for me. No one, not teachers or peers at public schools, or babysitters, or even my extended family members should have a greater influence on my kids than I do. Contrary to popular belief, it does NOT take a village. It takes a parent. My children are my responsibility--the greatest trust that God puts with me. Each soul gets roughly 18 years of shaping, and I had better use those years wisely, as I have already seen how fast that time passes. If we allow our kids to have more time with these people of the world than they have with their parents during the formative years, should we be surprised when they turn out just like those who really "raised" them?
Yesterday was Wednesday, and we attend mid-week Bible study on Wed. nights each week. I was feeling really yucky. I had a headache, my face hurt where I had stitches last week, and my knee had gone out on me, making it hard to go up and down the stairs. I was debating whether or not I would get out and go to church. About noon, my oldest homeschooler came to me, knowing that I was feeling poorly. He asked, "What do the girls need to wear to church tonight? Do you need something washed or pressed for them?" I did not tell him that I was thinking about not going. About 3 p.m., he started moving his younger siblings toward eating something and bathing and finding all their clothes. I never said one word to him about needing to do any of this. I thought to myself, if he can do all this now, automatically, without having to be prompted, what are the chances he will get himself dressed and to services when he is out on his on? I think the answer is that there is a pretty good chance that he will be able to make good decisions when I am not watching. As for me, I figured that if he could do all the hard stuff without even having to be asked, the least I could do was to dress myself and reciprocate the encouragement this 17-year-old had given me on this day!
Some 25 years ago, I had a first class education! By the grace of God, I attended one of the finest private schools in my state in its day! I have no doubt that I could have stepped onto "Jeopardy" straight out of high school and aced every category--even Bible! I attended over 2 years of college (which was a breeze after high school,) and got married. I have taken more classes along the way! Do you know how much I remember of all that I learned? I don't think I have retained enough to even beat my brothers at Trivial Pursuit! What I have retained are the important things. I still believe in character and honor and patriotism. I still love and respect my elders. God still comes above all else in my life.
I don't know that my children will get the same education I got. I am not sure that it matters. After all, "it's all going to burn up some day." As long as God gives me the ability to breathe and think, I will be plugging along here in my little home school, trying to instill the truly important things in the hearts of my kids.
Someone wrote this about home schooling. I thought it was a good way to end this entry:
Though I teach my children how to multiply, divide, and diagram a sentence, but fail to show them love, I have taught them nothing.
And though I take them on numerous field trips, to swim practice and flute lessons; and though I involve them in every church activity, but fail to give them love, I profit nothing.
And though I scrub my house relentlessly, run countless errands, and serve three nutritious meals every day but fail to be an example of love, I have done nothing.
Love is patient with misspelled words and is kind to young interrupters.
Love does not envy the high SAT scores of other homeschool families.
Love does not claim to have better teaching methods than anyone else, is not rude to the fourth telephone caller during a science lesson, does not seek perfectly behaved geniuses, does not turn into a drill sergeant, thinks no evil about friends' educational choices.
Love bears all my children's challenges, believes all my children are God's precious gifts, hopes all my children establish permanent relationships with Christ, and endures all things to demonstrate God's love.
Love never fails. Where there are college degrees, they will fail; where there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we teach in part. But when the trials of life come to our children, the history, math, and science will be done away and faith, hope, and love will remain; but the greatest of these is love.
----author unknown
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