"Groundhog's Day" on Thanksgiving

MaiMai

1920-2005

Do you remember the movie of the title "Groundhog's Day" where Bill Murray wakes up to the same day over and over again? Well, it has kind of started to feel like that around here lately. Last year, on November 22, we got the call that my grandmother (Dad's mom) had passed away. This year, same day, the phone rang at 7 a.m., and we learned of the passing of Dad's step-mother, my other grandmother.

I grew up with three grandmothers, in effect. I thought that was normal---that everyone had three sets of grandparents. It made for interesting birthdays and holidays, because to a kid, grandparents are the best on those special days! They send you money and gifts and spoil you absolutely rotten. I always felt special that I had an extra set!

My dad's parents divorced when he was 3, and many years later, they married other people. My real granddad was about my age now when he married Mary, who I called MaiMai. (Now my husband teases me mercilessly about all my grandparent names, because, apparently up north, people do not designate grandparents by silly names like MeeMaw and PeePaw and Granny and PawPaw, etc. Everyone is called Grandma Smith and Grandma Jones, or Grandfather Joe and Grandmother Sue, etc. In the South, we get down right personal, and sometimes a tad silly-sounding with our grandparent names.

At any rate, my Florida grandparents were Pappaw and MaiMai. MaiMai was a funny little lady! She could not have been much over 5'2 or 5'3, but she was tough as nails. My grandfather was probably 6'3 or 6'4 at his tallest, and boy, was he handsome. He was once a Marine Corps Drill Sgt. and he was pretty tough, too! By the time he met MaiMai, he was out of World War II and the service.

Pappaw had a brother named Ralph, and Mary had a sister named Martha. Somehow, Carl and Mary married, and so did Ralph and Martha. They all went to Florida, bought a house together, and lived in harmony for nearly 20 years. Then, Ralph passed away from complications of cancer and heart disease, and Martha was left with my grandparents. They ended up selling the house and moving into separate condos for a time. As Mary's health declined, her sister, who was about 4 years her junior, moved back in to assist with her care.

The last couple of years have been rough. MaiMai eventually had a bad stroke which took away her mobility and her speech. She never got much better. Through it all, the dear sister Martha, over 80 herself now, refused to put Mary in a nursing home. She tenderly cared for her mostly alone, lifting her, cleaning her, changing her numerous times a day. Young women would have struggled to keep up with the task of caring for someone so ill. Martha existed on pure love. This fierce devotion was carried until the end, which came sometime in the wee hours of Tuesday morning last. Martha drifted off to sleep in a chair at the hospital at Mary's bedside, and when she awoke, she was without her dear sister for the first time in 81 years.

The funeral was Friday. One of my brothers led the congregational singing, and another gave the eulogy. My brother the preacher had asked all the rest of us grandchildren to email some memories so that he could incorporate them into the sermon. He and I both thought of Proverbs 31 as the text for her eulogy. I will post it below. Sometimes a lady dies, and it is a real stretch to compare her to the woman of Proverbs 31. It was not a stretch here at all.


MaiMai (in the navy suit) holds my brother Doug's hand as all my family exits church a few years ago. Her dear sister Martha stands above and to the right (in the lighter blue jacket) and Pappaw is in the way back, standing next to my dad (in the maroon sweater.) Sam, in green, was representative of the 4th generation pictured here!

Each person that leaves a family leaves a void that cannot be filled. Only God's peace makes life bearable without them. I will miss all the laughter we had through the years...things like making sure that a kitty appeared somewhere on every greeting card I sent, since she hated cats with a passion and would fuss at me for the meanness I was just full of. It was "our joke." Each kid had a story like that. You will read them in the eulogy. I have lost a lot of dear ones this month. Mai Mai is no exception.

I'll see you over on the other shore, Darlin'!