A Mother's Day Tale!

Well, it is barely still Mother's Day, and all my babies are safely tucked into bed--from the 18 year old to the 18 month old! (The 16 year old, the 11 year old, and the 5 year old are sleeping soundly, too.)

I could not help but remember today that there was a time when I thought that I would never have babies. I was with my first husband then, and we had tried from 1983 until 1986 with no luck. I even lost one in 1985. That was terribly traumatic. I had a giant collection of stuffed animals and dolls in a nursery that had everything in it but a real baby. Some of my "friends" made light of that. Maybe it was pitiful, but I had always wanted nothing more in my life than a good husband and lots of babies.

Eventually, I got my first blessing in the last possible month of 1986. He was born in South Carolina, and the journey began. He was followed shortly by his brother about 18 months later, and the third boy came in 1994. I thought I was done. My husband and I agreed that 3 boys was enough. We could have kept trying for the girl, we reasoned, but we would have just ended up with a house full of boys, in all likelihood.

Life has a way of taking you down roads that you did not intend to travel. In 1994, my first husband also decided that he did not want to be a "family man" anymore (another way of saying he wanted to be a swinger), and I suddenly found myself a single mom of 3 very active boys. I did the single-mom-thing for about 3 years, and I was just coming to the place in my life where I was happy again and comfortable with my "singleness." I was comfortable, I was blessed, and I had everything I needed---except a mate.

Not everyone needs a mate. I think it was Willie Nelson who sang, "There Are Worse Things than Being Alone." But God said, "It is not good for man to be alone..." and I trusted Him more than Willie Nelson. So I just prayed about it and trusted God to work it out, and He did.

It turns out that God had big surprises in store for me--the little girl who had wanted nothing more in her own childhood years than to grow up and experience motherhood and a good marriage. Around this time, (well maybe just a few years before) God created the internet just so that I could meet my second husband. :) I cannot see how we would have ever crossed paths if it had not been for the internet. He was up in Jersey, and I was way south of the Mason-Dixon Line. (Of course, nothing is too big for God, and to Him, a 1000 miles is no big deal!)God had saved Tim for me---kept him from marrying anyone and messing up his eligibility! At any rate, He put us in touch with one another through the Christian dating service called "The Christian Connection" which I think is now defunct, seeing His will has been done! We met around Valentine's Day of '97, and we married July 4, 1998.

But the surprises were not done. My new man had warned me before we married that he did not know if he would be able to father kids or not, for reasons that I will not go into now. I told him that it really did not matter, as I had my boys, and they were enough, if that was what God intended. But he was able to father children just fine, and we, too, lost a child--our first baby together--- in late 1998. I never knew the sex of that child, as I had not with my very first one, either.

Around mid-1999, I became pregnant again, and except for some nasty problems with gallstones, I did fine with the pregnancy and delivered a beautiful girl a month early in March of 2000, and then I delivered about 50 gallstones a month later!

We were twice-blessed by a second daughter in 2003. I delivered her in October, and then a few days later, I had to have extensive surgery where a scarband had wrapped around my large intestine and shut my digestive system completely down. They delivered my appendix during that surgery as well. My mother did not think I would live through the night that night, but I did, and I eventually got better, and I also eventually made it back home after about two months to begin the journey of raising 5 children, just as my own mother had done.

I can say that without a doubt, mothering a child or children is the most awesome experience available on the planet. No drug can induce a higher high than the pure exuberance that comes with creating and nurturing life. No adrenaline-producing stunt can equal the rush of motherhood. No sight on earth can equal the sheer wonder of looking into your child's eyes and seeing your own eyes staring back at you. No greater happiness exists than watching your own offspring grow and flourish, and no sadder feeling can be produced in the human experience than when your own child is hurting for any reason. Nothing can make you more elated, more despondent, more proud, or more angry than the accomplishments, or lack of them, by your children. When life is sweet with kids, it is very, very sweet, and when it is bitter, it is nigh to unbearable.

My heart rejoices when I consider the distinct possibility that I will someday get to meet my children that did not live up in heaven. I wonder what they would have been like, yet I trust that God knew best, and I would not have my Daniel or my Sarah today if these two other children had been carried to term. I cannot imagine my life without Daniel, Sam, Micah, Sarah or Hannah.

I know everyone brags on his/her kids, but these five are just spectacular kids, and I know that God gave each one of them the spirit that He did because He trusted me to deal with each one of them---and there are a few of them that not just anyone could have dealt with! Many a lesser woman would have swooned by now under the pressure! Those who know them personally can tell you that "I ain't lyin'!"

Yet, even with all the nights (like last night) that my head has not touched a pillow... (more about that in a later blog)...for all the days I have spent in hospitals and doctors' offices, emergency rooms and urgent cares... for all the time in principal's offices and on the phone with Grandma trying to figure out what to do with these kids!... for all the hours I have spent in fervent prayer for them...for all the days and nights changing diapers and cleaning puke buckets, moving endless piles of raunchy-smelling laundry, and cleaning up countless accidents on carpets, walls, and furniture... I would not trade you anything on earth for the experiences I have had in the 6,730 days I have been a mother!

(Happy Mother's Day with Love and Thanks to our Moms, Ginny and Sarah, without whom the many events and characters of this particular blog would not have been possible!)