The Measure of a Year

Happy 3rd Birthday, Hannah Faith!

(1. birth 2. first Halloween 3. first Christmas 4. stubborn on the 4th of July 5. Hannah's birth photo, wrapped in my baby blanket 6. first birthday 7. second birthday 8. those eyes! 9. those dimples!

It was reaffirmed to me recently that on this side of heaven, we have a little something called "time." Someday, there will be no more measuring of seconds, minutes, days, years, etc. When we get to that point, it is called "Eternity" from there on out!

On this side of heaven, we are told, one day is with the Lord as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day. Now some people have interpreted that to mean that one day is exactly the same thing as one thousand years with God. I don't buy that. God didn't take six thousand years or 6 million years to create the earth. He took six days.

I think that the point is that, with God, there is no need to count seconds and minutes and days, because God operates out of time and space. He has no beginning and no end. Our little minds cannot even begin to comprehend it, though we try. I will say that I have lived through some days that seemed like they were a thousand years long, and some of them came around the time that my little Hannah, child number five, was born.

I say all of this to lead into my post today in honor of Hannah's third birthday. I simply cannot believe it has been 3 years since she came into the world! The week following her birth was the most turbulent week I have experienced in my life so far, and that is saying a lot! What a week it was! Actually, that week turned into six months, and now, in another blink of the eye, we are at the three-year mark!

Hannah's coming into this world changed my life in so many ways that I can hardly begin to list them. Her birth caused great trauma to my body (which was no fault of hers,) and I have spent the last 1095 days trying to gain some semblance of normalcy physically. It was 6 months before I was even able to take care of Hannah by myself. I was not mentally prepared for a "near-death" experience, and I think I still have some sort of post-traumatic stress deal that occasionally rears its ugly head. (Just ask Tim, who will tell you I cannot stay in hotel rooms that look like my dreadful hospital room that I had for two weeks!)

I also was not prepared for the extraordinary spirit that God would entrust with Tim and me, housed in the child we named "Hannah Faith." I have often quipped that the Lord knew that just anyone could not have handled the 5 spirits he sent me in my children, because other people would have choked them by now! They all possess extremely rare and precious spirits that challenge every moment of my existence in some way. The Lord knew I was up for the test. (You know He never gives us more than we can bear, though at times I have thought I was pushing the limits of my abilities!) For these children, I prayed. And I have made it my purpose to so embrace them, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, that they would have the best shot possible at making it successfully to the other side of the Gulf, where time no longer defines us.

I lay, in the dark hours of the morning, thinking about how much change has come about in this house in the space of one little year. We've lost everything from baby teeth to grandmothers. Daniel, who was present in Hannah's last birthday photo, moved out to begin his own life, got his first "real" job, and moved back to start college--all in the space of this time we call a year. I have gone from shedding tears daily over the dwindling headcount around here to calm acceptance that one child, at least, has come into his own as a man. Somewhere in all of this, it seems like a few lifetimes have passed, but it was really just a sliver of one lifetime.

In this 365-day span, I have probably done another 730 loads of dishes, 1200 or so loads of clothes, and kissed a few hundred boo-boos of all shapes, sizes, and degrees of seriousness. I've gained and lost friends, brethren, family members and pets. I've sadly left one place of worship and happily joined myself to another group of believers. I have achieved some of my goals for 2006, while miserably failing at others. I have thanked the Lord that, at the end of the day, I can still pick up the phone and call my parents and my in-laws, all my brothers and all my sisters, and the ever-expanding pool of nieces and nephews who tickle my soul. I can kiss 4 of my children goodnight and instant message the other one and spend yet a few more minutes listening to the collective hopes, dreams, and prayers of my wards. And when I fall into bed, in whatever hour of the night I finally find sleep, I rest beside my soulmate, the one who gives me huge doses of moral support, laughs and cries with me, and urges me heavenward most enthusiastically of all--just like he promised he would, 8 of those lifetimes ago!

Yes, today, Hannah is 3! One has only to look at her pictures to see the depth of her soul. If the eyes are windows to the soul....then, WOW! Look out! Hannah is in the building! Her daddy calls her 'a destroyer of worlds.' He is just going by what the den looks like at the end of the day with her. I see her future more as a builder-- but of what, I am not sure. Madam President? Nobel Peace Prize winner? Another in a long line of strong women? Just as surely as her female ancestor brazenly took on the Indians at Fort Nashborough, which later became Nashville, with little more than dogs and boiling water, I trust that Hannah will show her challengers the same level of determination, courage, and resourcefulness. What a privilege to be her Mommy and get to watch from a front-row seat as she moves towards the marvelous things the Lord has in store for her!