I Challenge You.....

Moi with my neighbor and best friend, Debbie


Debbie came to be my neighbor sometime around 1991 or 1992. I don't even remember exactly when she came down from Michigan with her husband and family for his job with Saturn. They moved in next door, and our kids were very close in age. When her Amber was in 4th grade, my Daniel was in 3rd, her Sarah in 2nd, and my Sam in 1st. We both added an addition son later on that are a year or so apart in age. Micah and Kyle love playing with each other when they get the chance.

Life was always crazy for both Debbie and me, mothering all these kids, taking care of husbands and extended family and friends. We were both very active in our respective local churches.


Debbie with Sam last year at her daughter's graduation party

Debbie and I lived next door to each other, and we used to joke that we just needed to get together and have tea or something. We rarely ever got the time to do that. Once or twice, after I divorced, I snuck over to her house late at night, and she and I and all the kids would have a late night movie fest. It did not happen as often as I would have liked.


Debbie with Daniel last year

Debbie always knew how to be there when I needed her most. One day, when I was going through my divorce, I was out in the yard feeling pretty sorry for myself. I had a brand new baby, an acre and a half to mow (with the baby on my arm) and it was hotter than Hades. (not really, but TN summers are brutal.) I was just finishing up and thinking how lousy it was going to be to have to go in and cook dinner after slaving on the yard. Out of the blue, here came Debbie, hot plate of food and cool drink in hand. I thought of the bible passage about someone giving someone else a cup of cool water in His name. She revived my body and my spirit more than once in her special ways. I don't know how she just knew when I was at the end of my rope, but she always did, and she was always there.

We had a yard sale together the day my ex got married. She kept my mind off the negative things and helped me rise above all the pettiness that one can get into in divorce situations.

Debbie slaved washing windows and bought herself one of those fancy gliders for the front porch so that she could sit and watch the prettiest sunsets on the face of the planet. She said that we should get together some afternoon and just sit and talk and watch the sunset. But we never did it. Eight or ten years we lived beside each other, and we never slowed down enough to take in a sunset together.

The day came when I remarried. Debbie was right there beside me. She got me through the wedding. She ironed my dress, partied all night with me and the bridesmaids at my house as we made bouquets for the bridesmaids and put finishing touches on the homemade dresses. She stood beside me with her two beautiful daughters as I took my vows.


Debbie (top, far left, and her girls, far right in white,) were with me on my special day, 1998



Debbie and I share a hug after my wedding, 1998

A week later, when I got back from my honeymoon and had inner ear problems so bad that I could not stand up, she came over and packed up my house for New Jersey. We sat in my empty bedroom floor and cried and hugged and lamented the fact that we never had tea in the porch swing.

A year later, I unexpectedly and delightedly got to move back to Tennessee and that house next to my dear friend. But I had a new baby on the way, and we were growing out of that house. We bought a new house and moved across town, and chances to see each other pretty soon became confined to Christmas, each other's birthdays, and special children events.


Debbie's family with Daniel at his graduation, 2005

Debbie called me the day her husband had a heart attack and asked me to be the one to intercept the kids when they came home from school and keep them until she could get to them. She called me when her daughters were in a devastating car accident. She came to me when I nearly died in the hospital. We are on each other's school contact list for emergencies with the kids. That's the way it is with a true friend. You know they will be there whenever you need them.

We have managed to maintain our friendship from a 5 mile distance, but we never have done that porch swing gig.

Debbie called last night and said she was dropping by today with my birthday present. I called her back this morning and asked her if we could get together for a sunset or something. We made an appointment for Thursday evening. Lord willing, we are going to share a cup of tea and a sunset next Thursday.

Isn't it terrible that we don't take the time to do the things that mean the most to us? Debbie and I have shared 15 years of kids and laughter and tears and weddings and graduations, but we can't find the time to sit for tea. I don't want to wait until one of us gets told that we only have a little while to live...or until one of us is suddenly and irreversibly gone for good. Maybe that day will never come, and maybe it will. I am not a betting woman.

So today, on my birthday, my wish for you is that you should think up one thing you have been meaning to do for a while now, and make an appointment to do it. I triple-dog dare you to do something adventuresome--like having tea with your best buddy! People don't live forever. Sometimes, they are gone before you have the chance to tell them what they really mean to you. Do whatever it takes....put it on your overflowing calendar if you must, but just do it.