It's Almost That Time.....

I have always been a dreamer...a romantic...somewhat of an idealist. I can't blame anyone or anything in my life for making me what I am. It is who I have been every since I realized that I had an opinion. Teachers called me an incurable romantic and an optimist.

As I have grown older, (and older and older,) I have become more tempered in my idealism, my optimism, and even in my romanticism somewhat.

Christmas rolls around every 365 days or so, but in the past several years, it has seemed like it comes about every 3 months. I just get the needles cleaned up off the carpets before the next tree is coming in the door, shedding as she goes.

When I was little, Christmas was so simple. There was absolutely no stress---no really important decisions to be made. (My mother says, "Yeah, right!") Then I grew up. We all do, and how we handle the days like Christmas changes and evolves with us.

As I end this year, I am 43 years old. You would think by my thought processes that I was nearer to 90 sometimes. I am tired. I admit it. 5 kids and 19 Christmases with kids have worn me out. I cannot even bear to fathom the thought right now that I have at least 16 more years to provide a Christmas experience for a kid with big ole brown eyes, searching my eyes for clues as to what the "big day" will bring.

I cannot deny them their day! I had 18 years of my parents making Christmas look like it was a breeze. Sometimes I wonder, am I doing something wrong? Why is it so much harder for me to make it to the morning of December 25th, arriving with my sanity still intact? How did my mother always manage to have presents wrapped and under the tree, Santa's "arrival" perfectly scheduled, while still working a full-time job and raising 5 kids just like me? She had such grace--not a hair out of place and no bags under the eyes on Christmas morning from all the previous nights of missed sleep! I contend that the finesse with which my parents pulled off Christmas argues for the existence of Santa Claus, because they could not possibly have done it all!

I think I started to notice the change in me the year I assembled the Batmobile pedal car after getting two hyper little boys into bed sometime after midnight. I don't think I have ever been so tired in my life. My twin brothers were mere babes back then---teens who stayed out til the wee wee hours. I remember them coming in the door of my parents' house where we had all assembled for Christmas at about 2 in the morning, and them watching me struggle with the tools as I put that stupid car together. It was obvious that they did not "get it" yet. They had no idea how tired I was, how frustrated, how mad at myself for purchasing this stupid pile of indiscernible plastic and metal parts. I wanted to scream, "Run away! Don't get married, have kids, settle down just yet! Or you, too, will be assembling unassemblable toys with a thousand unlabeled parts, when you should be cuddling up by the fire with that special someone sipping hot cocoa and watching the snow fall outside."

Yes, there is something about becoming the giver instead of the receiver that changes you forever. Some of it is for the good. Some of it is rather sad, especially if you are an "incurable romantic."

I have changed. My husband asked me this year what I wanted for Christmas. I could not think of a thing. I truly have everything I need. While that sounds trite, it is accurate. Oh, yes, a new multi-megapixel digital camera or a state-of-the-art computer upgrade would be nice, but they are not necessary to my happiness.

What I would love, I can't have. World peace. A cure for cancer. Instant obliteration of all the evil troublers of this world. Brotherly love. These things are obviously not material goods. But no one can get these things for me.

I guess at some point, I have transformed into more of a spiritual creature and less of an earthly one. That is good, I believe. At best, none of us has too many more "Christmases" left on this earth. As my grandmother used to say, "It is all gonna burn up some day."

Still, the little ones are hyper. "Santa" is coming. I love seeing the joy in their eyes on Christmas morn. I adore it if we just happen to get a white Christmas. I will cherish the time with my parents, Lord willing, one more year. I am proud another 365 days has passed, and none of my loved ones will be missing from the table of celebration by the grace of God. I will celebrate the last Christmas at home for my firstborn, before he begins his own journey towards becoming the giver. It is all so sweet and so bittersweet at the same time.

I am more content than I have ever been in my life. That does not mean that my life is perfect or that there are things I would not change if I could. It just means that all is well for me today. Whatever happens is o.k., too. I am so grateful for that. I embrace that thought and thank God for His part in providing all I need and more.

I am tired, but I will make it. One day, there will be no more "assembly required" and I will hopefully sit by the fire with my beloved, snuggling close, as we sip some cocoa and look out at the snow falling. It's a ways off, but I have just enough of the romantic left in me to be able to see it if I squint hard enough and just enough of the optimist left in me to believe it will come one day. And if the truth be known, there is probably just enough of the idealist still left inside me to
entertain the notion that there is more going on at the North Pole than global warming.

Grandmother in the Mirror

2005 has been a year of much reflection in my life. As we close the year, I have realized that for the first time since I was born, I will be missing all three of the grandmothers I was given. December 6th and 7th are always days of memories for me. Two of my grandmothers were born on these days, respectively. One grandmother then died on the 6th, on the other grandmother’s birthday, and the day before her own 83rd birthday. The dates are intertwined with memories of laughter and tears, celebration and quiet memorials.

Not everyone is as attached to their grandmothers as I was. Some poor souls never even get the chance to know their parents’ parents. I was blessed. I was the oldest child in my family, and I came when my parents were but exiting their teen years. When I was born in ’62, one grandmother was 42 and the other was 58. I would gain another step-grandmother the following year, and she was 43 when she married my grandfather. I am the age now that two of my grandmothers were when they got that esteemed title. Being the oldest, I had many good years with all my grandparents before they departed this life.

I lived in the same town with the grandmother I called “Nanny.” I was, perhaps, the closest to her, because somehow our spirits just bonded from the moment we set eyes on one another. My mother says that I laughed out loud when I saw Nanny at just a couple of days old. The laughter never stopped as long as I knew her. She was such a joyful person. I learned so much from her and carry strong memories in my heart of her, even though she was the first to leave.

Mammaw, my dad’s mom, was a memorable soul as well. In the South, we would call her a “character.” (I think she called me that more than once, too!) She was someone that once you knew her, it was hard to forget her. She was the shopping granny---the one that always brought something delightful each and every time she came to see me. We did not always live in the same town, so I saw her less. She saw to it that my brothers and I were always dolled up in the cutest outfits, and she stocked my entire doll collection. She was big on Christmas and Thanksgiving, and she never forgot to send a Valentine.

We just lost grandma #3 over Thanksgiving. MaiMai always lived in Florida and we saw her least. Whenever we did get to go down there, she was always a very gracious hostess, providing us with luscious meals, cozy beds, and plenty of homemade remedies for the sunburn we always got down there.

Each grandmother was unique—not really like the other two. I guess that was a good thing, because it allowed me to love them all for their one-of-a-kind qualities. Having an extra set of grandparents in there allowed me and my siblings to be extra-spoiled.

Often, I look in the mirror, and I am shocked to see one of my grandmothers looking back at me. No, it is not a ghost. It is biology. Sometimes I see more of one than the other. My daddy "rags on me" because I love to wear the same hair color that Mammaw did, and he hated it on her, too. Nanny’s laugh lines are appearing all over my face. I can do that same stern look that Mammaw would do when she got serious about something. You did not want to see that face on her, and my family does not like it either! I find myself doing the same silly face as I potty train Hannah that my Nanny did with me.

Maybe it sounds cheesy and all to say that my grandmothers live on through me. It seems like somehow, they do. My father has commented on more than one occasion that as long as I was alive, his mother would not be dead. I get it now more than ever. I hope it is some comfort to my family when they spot of glimpse of one of my grandmothers as I go by. The trait is not unique to me. I see glimpses of my relatives in each one of my family members. My husband was recently stunned to meet my “twin” cousin, who is so much like me that it is scary. It was especially scary when she pulled her lipstick out of her purse and it was the same as mine! Many times we sit and stare at one another at family reunions and comment, "You look so much like....."

Maybe that is why God allowed us to look like our ancestors. Even when they are gone, we get subtle reminders of them through our family members, and we hopefully are reminded to mimic the good in them and to try and not copy their failings.

Today is Pearl Harbor Day. It is a day of memory of special events that happened in our country’s history. But it is also a day for me of personal memories. Had these women not lived, I obviously would not be here today, so I owe them my existence. Beyond that, I owe them so much more, for shaping me into the woman I am today—for teaching me how to love my husband and kids, how to cook, how to make a happy home, what’s important in life. I seem to look in the mirror a lot more these days. It’s not vanity. I’m just hoping to get a passing glance at some grandmothers that I miss very much.

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

I surely am glad that I am not where I was 19 years ago or even 18 years ago. Childbirth is a breeze for some, a terrifying experience for others. My first attempt at childbirth was quite difficult, but as most mothers will testify, the product, my first son, was well worth all the anguish it took to get him into the world. I can hardly believe that the years have passed so quickly, and what seemed at the time like slow-motion child-rearing has turned to years passing so swiftly now that I can scarce keep up with them.

Daniel turned 19 today! 2005 has been quite a year for him, graduating and all. I know my good friend Cindy in South Carolina can remember the long hours we put in in the labor room trying to get this child to come on out and see the world. Cindy stood in for my mother who was in Tennessee waiting all day for news on her first grandchild. Daniel waited until almost the last possible hours of December 5th to make his arrival. And they had to cut him out at that! But once he got into this world, he has never stopped going and going and going......just like the bunny on the commercial.

Daniel has always been a challenge and a blessing wrapped in one giant package! He has always made me proud by his accomplishments and his behavior throughout his life. He is stubborn, intense, and headstrong, but he is also compassionate, loving, caring, and gentle. He has filled many shoes, even before he was old enough to step into some of them. He has always been a protector, of me, and of his siblings. He is as crazy about his half-sisters as he is his full brothers. In his mind, there is no "half" to it. He has two sisters and two brothers.

His entire life, I have been approached by people who started the conversation with..."let me tell you what Daniel did." 99% of the time, it was something good. Usually, it was humorous and embarassing as well, but most often, it was concerning some good or compassionate thing he had done. I used to cringe when Bible class teachers met me in the aisle with a smile, because I knew that they were going to have another Daniel story for me. There were some doozies.

Daniel is much like the apostle Peter, apparently, from everything we can read of Peter. Sometimes Peter opened his mouth when he shouldn't have, and he tried to walk on water, etc. Daniel is not afraid of jumping out there on the stormy sea either. Recently, he took his old hand-me-down beater car up to Kentucky to see some friends. I told him that he was taking his life into his own hands to get up there in that old car. He just had to go. He made it back, finally, but when he was within 30 miles of the house, the brakes were failing, and it was raining heavily, and thankfully, he had the sense enough to pull over and quit and let us get him the rest of the way home.

He comes by his impetuousness honestly. Everyone says that he is just like his mother. We do think quite a bit alike on things, except for the fact that he is a man and I am a woman. That brings a certain degree of difference to the table. I have always been able to talk about anything with him, and he has had incredible communication skills all of his life. I don't think his peers have always understood him, because he was on a different wave-length from most of them. Sometimes that makes for some loneliness, because your peers are interested in things you passed by 3 or 4 years ago.

I still wonder what Daniel will ultimately decide to do with his life. That's another way in which he is like me. He has not fully decided what career path to take. It took me a few years longer than most to decide what I wanted out of life. Daniel has a lot of talents. His singing voice just developed from an o.k. voice to a magnificent one last year. I love it when he leads singing at church. He loves to listen to people's problems and try to help them sort things out, so I sort of suspect that he may go in that direction for a career. I have told him that with his cooking talents, he could go into the culinary arts, but he does not seem to have any desire to work in a kitchen all of his life. He has expressed a desire to preach.

I suspect that by this time next year, Lord-willing, he will have made some of the first decisions about which road he will take. It surely will be hard to watch him go. His siblings are all going to be to bury (and his mom will probably cry some buckets, too.) I guess it is always hardest to lose the first one from the nest. I have no doubts that he will find his way, as he always has, pretty independently and head-strong. Like other moms, I pray that God has been preparing some fine young lady for him and will bring them together when the time is right.

Whatever happens in the coming days, I'll cherish the memories of raising this exceptional boy, and I will look forward to watching him exceed the expectations of many who are unaware of the dynamo within his one-of-a-kind spirit. My gentle giant is now about 5 feet taller and 234 lbs. heavier than he was on this day 19 years ago, but he still can touch my heart just as effectively as he did the first time I laid eyes on him way back then.

What Day Is It Again????

My old brain has been in shock since having the better part of 4 days off last week! I am having trouble adjusting to getting back on a regular week's schedule.

After one whole day of lightening up on my blog and trying to report the good news of the week, I am afraid we are back to doom and gloom today. Daniel has had a friend up in the next town for a few years now. Jared is about 4 years younger than Daniel, but he has always been really close to him. He came to Daniel's graduation in June and went out to eat with us afterwards. We have also been picking Jared up for church from time to time when he could go with us on Wednesday nights.

Jared called us on Monday afternoon with the news that his dad was in the hospital in critical condition. This shocked us a lot, because we did not know he was having any problems. All we know is that he was taking some medications (some for depression--I don't know what else, if any) and he felt like he was getting dehydrated. He began to have some dementia of some kind, as he had trouble doing the easiest things like tying a shoe. At any rate, he apparently consumed about 6 1/4 gallons of Pepsi, one can or bottle at a time, within a short period, and he went into some sort of a diabetic coma-type thing. His family found him unresponsive Monday morning on the sofa. He was admitted at the local hospital, but today, he had a massive heart attack, and they could not get him back. Jared's dad is gone at the tender age of 49.

We are all in shock, but you can imagine how bad it is for Jared's family. Jared is going to have a tough row to hoe, as they say, for he is left with his mom and sister to carry on. Daniel and I were talking about how hard it is to lose anyone anytime, but somehow the holidays seem to make it that much harder. Poor kid! Please say a prayer for their family when you read this!

In brighter news, I am happy to report that Mom and Dad are HOME! The last time I talked to Mom tonight, she was happily settling down in her fairly new wonder-foam adjustable bed which feels like a cloud after sleeping on a hide-away bed for over a week now. I am sure they won't miss a beat tomorrow, jumping right back into their hectic lives instead of resting up a bit. She tells me that there are car tags to get, bills to pay, etc., and these things won't wait for her to rest up from the trip to Florida. Happiest of all are Hannah and Sarah who have not understood where their MeMe and Pappy have disappeared to so much in the last couple of months! They love their grandparents so much that I don't know if they can stand it 'til Sunday when we will see them again, the good Lord willing!

I had to giggle today. I got a call from the local flower shop that they had a delivery for me. I don't think they will ever forget me, after the lavishing that Tim bestowed on me our first Valentine's Day together. Not only did he order me a dozen red roses, but he also ordered a dozen pink ones and a dozen yellow ones and two potted plants! They got there about the same time a gift basket was arriving from the local gift shop as well, and the ladies commented that somebody was madly in love with me! My house looked like the flower shop! Anyway, when the phone rang today, and I saw it was them, I wondered what my husband was doing sending me flowers today. Turns out, it was a flower arrangement from my friends at church in memory of my grandmother! It got my heart racing for a little while..... :) It's a little while till Valentine's Day! They always love to see my hubby coming!

We had another really good laugh tonight at dinner! Micah was ragging on Sam about something, and Sam looked at Micah and said, "Micah, I just have three words for you! You're Stupid!" All of us thought about that one for a second and then burst into laughter. I told Sam that we are going to have to hit the math a little harder! In his defense, he said that he meant to say "You ARE Stupid!" Of course, then we have to have the little talk about calling our brother "Stupid." It was all in good fun. I am lucky that my boys mostly get along and don't slug it out very often, but I realize that wrestling in the floor is a rite of passage. I just feel sorry for my dear mother-in-law who had twice as many boys as I do. How we keep working lamps, I will never know!

Have a good rest of the day, and if you have time, drop me a line and let me know what day it is, will you? Thanks!

Lightening Up

Well, everything has been a little heavy lately, so I thought I would write a little today on the funnier side of life!

Probably everyone who has email has seen this, but if you have not, you have to check out this Thanksgiving Greeting e-card that was making the rounds. Someone outdid himself or herself designing this one. Check this out! It is a riot!

I got word this last week from my dear cousin Sharon out in Texas that she is in LOVE! Ahhh, ain't love grand. It has been fun hearing about her blossoming romance! She reports that Sunday night, her newfound love came and sat beside her and then later told her that he loved her! AWWWWWW! It is just too sweet. Sharon just lost her mom about a month ago, and she thinks that this may be God's way of filling the lonely spot in her life. She believes her mom would approve of this one!

We had a very pleasant Thanksgiving despite the fact that my entire family was in Florida for the funeral and my DH's family is all up North. We ended up going out to eat, as I just was not in a cookin' mood, and we had a really great dinner and were pleased we made that choice. It was very homey and warm where we were, and we felt quite blessed to have our own little family intact for the meal. Daniel had to go to work at 10 p.m., and that was kind of a bummer, but at least we had the afternoon and evening together!

Tim and I vegetated all weekend. We have been going so hard and fast for months now, that we really needed this four-day weekend. I was a really good wife and did not make him fix the sink or do any of the other million things on my current honey-do list. I knew he needed a break, too, so we just let it all go and relaxed. We enjoyed services on Sunday and were happy that a new couple placed their membership with our congregation. They look like really sweet people and I look forward to getting to know them.

I did something that I have never once done in my whole life on Friday! I got up and went to the crazy sale at Wal-Mart at 5 a.m. Now those of you that know me know that I am not a morning person at all. This was a labor of love for the kiddos. I did very well. I was able to get everything I went for. Later that night, after I had slept part of the day and recovered, we went out to Opry Mills--the mall where the Opryland themepark used to be in Nashville (sniff, sniff--I miss Opryland, and in my humble opinion, it was the stupidest thing Nashville has ever done to lose that park....) and I went to KB Toys and got another couple of things that they had on sale Friday. All in all, I did well, but I don't think I will ever do that again. It is crazy and just downright dangerous to be out there grabbing and putting oneself in harm's way over a few toys. I will go back to internet shopping exclusively next year. If you are savvy, you can do just as well, and sometimes better, on the net.

If you do not know this site, you should check it out. DealNews.com and DealCoupon.com are two of my favorite sites for shopping tips. You can read where to find the best bargains on Dealnews, and you can get online coupons to take 10, 15, or 20% or more off of purchases. You can click the coupons link at the top of the dealnews site and go right over to the coupons. Virtually every store women are crazy about and even some of the ones men like are featured there, and you can even have them email you when a deal comes up on your favorite site. Some of my favorites are coupons for Amazon, ToysRUs, Linens'N'Things, and all the Office Supply stores online. You just copy the coupon code and paste it in the discount box at checkout. I even used a coupon for Ebay and got 10% off my purchase at Paypal! With all these savings, who needs to be rammed with shopping carts and scratched and poked by overzealous shoppers?

Well, looks like Mom and Dad are finally heading home tomorrow, Lord-willing, and I know they will be happy to be home. They have spent a lot of time in Florida this year, and their children and grandchildren are missing them. Everyone say a little prayer for their safety!

That's all for now. Hopefully, I will have some kid pictures to post soon. I have not done that in a while. They are growing up on me!

Have a good Tuesday, all!

Guest Blogging

The following two posts are not easy to read. They are written by my brother who is getting his Masters Degree in counseling right now. As part of his degree program, he works in centers for abused and neglected children. The things he sees and deals with on a daily basis will horrify most people. For others, I am sure they are not shocked, as they have been victims themselves. During the Christmas season, some of these children become even more forgotten as we seek to surround ourselves with the beautiful things and happy times of the holidays. There are some kids for whom the Christmas season is especially sad. Think how it must be to watch your peers have great times with their families, eating scrumptious food and receiving all kinds of neat presents, knowing that all that awaits in your home is unspeakable darkness. No, these things are not easy to read, and they are almost incomprehensible unless you have experienced them yourself or worked in some profession where you come across these innocent victims of the worst kind of scum.

I could not do what Dan does for a living. While I adore kids, I think I would just die if I had to see firsthand what he sees and carry those images with me. He was working with these kids long before he went back to school. He also preaches full time. I don't know how he gets it all in, but somehow, he copes with it all. Kids are lucky to have advocates like Dan. We must all be more vigilant to protect our kids and help those who are being abused and neglected. If we do not demand that legislators do more to protect our children, it won't get done. If you are reading these words, make a pledge that you will not let this holiday season go by without doing something proactive for our children of America. Do more than grabbing some angel off a mall tree and buying a present. That is a great thing to do, but it is not enough. Make an effort to be a voice for all God's little innocent voices that cannot speak for themselves.

Guest Blog--"Nightmare of a Dark Christmas"

Nightmare of a Dark Christmas

‘Tis the season for families all over the country to be together and celebrate the holidays. We play our old favorite carols such as White Christmas and Jingle Bells. Children are excited about presents and activities that are associated with this time of year, and everyone tends to look forward to the joy and warmth of the season. Well, not everyone. For many children this will be a gloomy and cold season, a dark Christmas if you will. It is not just that there will be no Santa Claus to visit and deliver presents, no fun and games, or plenty of turkey with all the trimmings. It is not just a lack of all the good and light that represents the spirit of Christmas, but the murk that covers the victims of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. These children are the ghosts of Christmas Present that none of us want to believe exist. They are girls as young as two years old who are pimped out at truck stops by their own mothers for $25 crack rocks. They are young men under 18 who are raped in juvenile detention centers. They are children who are forced to sleep naked, and are awakened in the early morning hours by a drunk who forces them to perform sexual acts. They are children who are whipped mercilessly with an extension cord for leaving the top off of the toothpaste. They are children left at what the parents believed to be a credible daycare, but in fact is a sex offender’s playground. They are neglected children forced to fend for their lives.
When you gather with your loved ones this holiday season, take a moment to say a prayer for the thousands of weak, helpless, molested and neglected children across the country who are not as fortunate. If you want to make a difference, then do more than just throwing change in the kettle outside the mall. Instead, find out the needs and support your local Child Advocacy Center or Domestic Violence Shelter in your community. With your help, perhaps a few more ghosts of Christmas Present will have a little brighter Christmas Future.


------Dan

Guest Blog--"Vampires and Pedophiles

Vampires and Pedophiles

We are all familiar with the stories and myths of vampires portrayed by books, movies and T.V. shows. These are intriguing, yet scary figures that have evolved over time from pasty-white, freaky-eyed phantoms in capes, to heroic studs in long black leather coats that captivate popular culture. The classic vampire appears charming and able to lure unsuspecting victims into romantic affairs. They are, however, hideous creatures when revealed. They leave a trail of bodies in their wake with the unmistakable fang marks in their victim’s neck, from which they have sucked out the lifeblood. Occasionally, they create more monsters by sucking the soul from the body, and resurrect a budding vampire protégé in their own image. Vampires often have assistance from willing mortals to help them find dinner or offer protection when they are in vulnerable positions. In vampire stories, the majority of people deny their existence until they are brought face to face with the facts, or have a loved one killed. Then, mobs of angry villagers hunt down the vampires with torches, pitchforks and wooden stakes. Elite vampire slayers may also be employed to do the job. The clever and patient vampires move on from place to place and operate discretely over generations, while the dense and impetuous vampires tend to get staked through the heart.
Throughout many of the stories, people are often given tips to avoid becoming a midnight snack. For example, vampires cannot enter your home unless you invite them. Vampires hate garlic, and are repelled by holy water or crosses. They tend to burst into flames when they come into contact with sunlight, so they operate mostly at night. They sleep in coffins and can only be killed by a wooden stake driven through their heart.
You may sleep well to know that vampires do not actually exist. However, hopefully we are not playing the role of the gullible villagers to believe that pedophiles are also fiction. They are very real and just as scary. Unfortunately for society, these real monsters seem to have learned a trick or treat from vampires because they have a very similar M.O.
Pedophiles suck the life out of their prey and leave a trail of victims in their wake. They feed on the weak, the unattended, and the helpless. They appear charming and attractive, but inside they are the most hideous form of human scum. They destroy lives and/or create new little perpetrators to follow in their footsteps with sexually reactive behaviors. Pedophiles often have assistance from a spouse or relative who looks the other way, or even goes as far as to protect them from investigation or discovery.
The number of pedophiles is increasing exponentially, but we can fight back. Do not wait for your loved ones to be molested, but instead take measures to protect them. For the most part, pedophiles cannot harm you unless you invite them in your home or activities. Be vigilant about who is in contact with your kids at all times! Our garlic is education, so talk to your kids about being safe. Our sunlight is the sex offender registry, so use it to see if any pedophiles are living in your neighborhood. Our cross is the badge of law enforcement, so contact the authorities if you suspect something is wrong. Our holy water is stricter laws for registering and electronically monitoring sex offenders, so they will think twice about moving to Tennessee or staying here. Our wooden stakes need to be 25-year mandatory sentences for first-time child molesters.
If these measures seem harsh, please consider that one cannot rationalize with a vampire that has its fangs already in your neck. Pedophiles do not appeal to reason either. They are sick for the rest of their life and research shows that most convicted pedophiles will live to molest children again. Friends, it is time to grab a stake!


--------Dan

"Groundhog's Day" on Thanksgiving

MaiMai

1920-2005

Do you remember the movie of the title "Groundhog's Day" where Bill Murray wakes up to the same day over and over again? Well, it has kind of started to feel like that around here lately. Last year, on November 22, we got the call that my grandmother (Dad's mom) had passed away. This year, same day, the phone rang at 7 a.m., and we learned of the passing of Dad's step-mother, my other grandmother.

I grew up with three grandmothers, in effect. I thought that was normal---that everyone had three sets of grandparents. It made for interesting birthdays and holidays, because to a kid, grandparents are the best on those special days! They send you money and gifts and spoil you absolutely rotten. I always felt special that I had an extra set!

My dad's parents divorced when he was 3, and many years later, they married other people. My real granddad was about my age now when he married Mary, who I called MaiMai. (Now my husband teases me mercilessly about all my grandparent names, because, apparently up north, people do not designate grandparents by silly names like MeeMaw and PeePaw and Granny and PawPaw, etc. Everyone is called Grandma Smith and Grandma Jones, or Grandfather Joe and Grandmother Sue, etc. In the South, we get down right personal, and sometimes a tad silly-sounding with our grandparent names.

At any rate, my Florida grandparents were Pappaw and MaiMai. MaiMai was a funny little lady! She could not have been much over 5'2 or 5'3, but she was tough as nails. My grandfather was probably 6'3 or 6'4 at his tallest, and boy, was he handsome. He was once a Marine Corps Drill Sgt. and he was pretty tough, too! By the time he met MaiMai, he was out of World War II and the service.

Pappaw had a brother named Ralph, and Mary had a sister named Martha. Somehow, Carl and Mary married, and so did Ralph and Martha. They all went to Florida, bought a house together, and lived in harmony for nearly 20 years. Then, Ralph passed away from complications of cancer and heart disease, and Martha was left with my grandparents. They ended up selling the house and moving into separate condos for a time. As Mary's health declined, her sister, who was about 4 years her junior, moved back in to assist with her care.

The last couple of years have been rough. MaiMai eventually had a bad stroke which took away her mobility and her speech. She never got much better. Through it all, the dear sister Martha, over 80 herself now, refused to put Mary in a nursing home. She tenderly cared for her mostly alone, lifting her, cleaning her, changing her numerous times a day. Young women would have struggled to keep up with the task of caring for someone so ill. Martha existed on pure love. This fierce devotion was carried until the end, which came sometime in the wee hours of Tuesday morning last. Martha drifted off to sleep in a chair at the hospital at Mary's bedside, and when she awoke, she was without her dear sister for the first time in 81 years.

The funeral was Friday. One of my brothers led the congregational singing, and another gave the eulogy. My brother the preacher had asked all the rest of us grandchildren to email some memories so that he could incorporate them into the sermon. He and I both thought of Proverbs 31 as the text for her eulogy. I will post it below. Sometimes a lady dies, and it is a real stretch to compare her to the woman of Proverbs 31. It was not a stretch here at all.


MaiMai (in the navy suit) holds my brother Doug's hand as all my family exits church a few years ago. Her dear sister Martha stands above and to the right (in the lighter blue jacket) and Pappaw is in the way back, standing next to my dad (in the maroon sweater.) Sam, in green, was representative of the 4th generation pictured here!

Each person that leaves a family leaves a void that cannot be filled. Only God's peace makes life bearable without them. I will miss all the laughter we had through the years...things like making sure that a kitty appeared somewhere on every greeting card I sent, since she hated cats with a passion and would fuss at me for the meanness I was just full of. It was "our joke." Each kid had a story like that. You will read them in the eulogy. I have lost a lot of dear ones this month. Mai Mai is no exception.

I'll see you over on the other shore, Darlin'!

Eulogy for a Southern Lady

My brother Dan writes his sermon outlines in a way that is like no other! To preserve the integrity of the remarks, I have left them in the outline format he likes to use. With a little effort, you can read about "MaiMai," a truly remarkable woman---our grandmother, who died this last Tuesday at the age of 85.



Proverbs 31…says…

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

· Mary Edwards… or Mai Mai as we called her… certainly was a jewel in her own right!
· She was always…above all… a virtuous woman.
· Webster’s defines virtuous… as “morally excellent, righteous, or chaste.”
· Mai Mai was certainly all those things
· When I think of Mai Mai… I think of a true lady.
· She was always very modest and lady-like.
· She was very proper in her manner of living!
· First and foremost…she was a Christian
· And she knew what her role as a woman of God was in the church…home…and community.
· I think that her dear sister Martha…who has cared for her these many months
· Would agree… that Mai Mai was a priceless person.
· And Mai Mai would have said the same thing about Martha.
· They were inseparable in life.
· They grew up together… and worked together before they married.
· They married brothers… moved to Florida… and shared a home for many, many years.
· They shared many of the same talents…
· But most important… they shared the same precious faith.
· Doug noted that…it was rare for two couples to live together… and get along so well
· All four were even on the same checking account

The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

· Our Pappaw… Carl… always seemed to have the utmost trust in MaiMai.
· He expected that she would care for the home… and the business of the home,
· And never disappointed him.
· She had good… sound judgment… and he knew that he could count on her to run the home efficiently and joyfully!
· Pappaw and MaiMai were married for 42 years.
· They always seemed to us grandchildren as being crazily in love.
· He called her “Shuug…
· She called him Honey… or Darlin’ in that soft… southern accent of hers!
· Except she made “D…ar…linnnn…” have about six syllables… the way she said it.
· She always looked out for him… made sure that he took all his medicine on time,
· And that he did not eat too many of his beloved sweets or salty things!
· Which was basically the contraband that my father snuck him around holidays…
· Pappaw fussed about all the care she took of him, but in the end…
· He trusted her judgment… and he did what she suggested… most of the time!

She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands.

· Perhaps one of MaiMai’s greatest talents was her sewing ability!
· I believe that is how Pappaw and MaiMai met.
· MaiMai knew a good sewing machine salesman when she saw one!
· He sold the sewing machines… and she sewed with the greatest of talent.
· He not only won her business… but he also won her heart!
· My sister can remember when Mai Mai and Aunt Martha
· Had an upholstery business in the garage of their home.
· They could sew anything… even without a pattern.
· Dana remembers a time when MaiMai cut out a dress for her and sewed it up,
· All in the space of a couple of hours… and without a pattern!
· It was one of her favorite dresses of all time!

She is like the merchants' ship; she bringeth her food from afar.

· Boy, could Mai Mai cook! After sewing all day, she would step into the kitchen,
· And she and Aunt Martha would whip up some of the most scrumptious dinners
· Using that good old… Southern cooking… they had learned back in Tennessee!
· Every meal she made was always wonderful.
· She could even make a sandwich special!
· Anyone who dined at her table feasted!
· And many did, as she was very hospitable, too.
· Don and Drew remember trying to guess what flavor pie Mai Mai had baked one time
· And they guessed “Grape.”
· She and Martha still laughed about that…the last time Don saw her.
· Instead of grape (which she could have figured out how to do if anyone could)
· She baked a wicked chocolate pie for their birthday… one of her specialties

She rises also while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field, and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good: her candle goes not out by night. She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

· Mai Mai was never afraid of work… and she always was busy with something.
· If she was not sewing or cooking, she was finding something else to do in the house or yard.
· We remember one time that MaiMai and Marni had been after Pappaw & Uncle Ralph
· To get some paneling put up in their sunroom…and the job…just say…had not quite happened.
· So one day… they just went out there and got the hammers
· And they paneled that whole room themselves!
· And it looked just as good as a professional could have done!
· They also once bricked their own mailbox in…

She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.

· Mai Mai could always find time to help someone in need.
· She was always tending to those in the church…caring for the elderly and sick.
· Everyone remembers how she and Martha took on the care of Ted and Pam when their mother was too sick to care for them.
· This they did in addition to all their other work.
· But being the humble Christian she was… Mai Mai did not brag about her good works.
· She was content to do what she could for the Lord… and let Him reward her efforts.
· We all remember the times she and Pappaw took us to the beach
· And after we all good and sunburned…she applied the dreaded, stinky vinegar
· We smelt like the Vlassic Pickle Factory…
· She sent regular birthday cards… and oranges at Christmas

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes fine linen, and sells it; and delivers girdles unto the merchant.

· We also remember how Mai Mai would make suits for Pappaw by hand,
· And they looked as good as any fine tailor’s work.
· She and Pappaw were the sharpest pair in outfits she color coordinated and made by herself.
· I think he had a matching suit to every dress she had, and they were always very hip!
· She truly had a wonderful talent with the hands God gave her.
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
· More than physical clothing, though, Mai Mai was always more concerned with character.
· She was serious about her Christianity.
· She lived it 24-7.
· Every conversation with her usually came back around to something about God, the Bible or the church.
· She loved going to services, and one of her greatest sorrows as she was sick
· Was that she could not always be with her brethren when they assembled.
· She, like King David, truly rejoiced when she could go to the house of the Lord.
· But she and the family appreciated every act of kindness and love from the church
· You were truly a blessing to her…

She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

· Whenever we asked it of her…and even when we did not…
· Mai Mai always had sound… godly advice for us.
· She had studied her Bible, and she always encouraged us grandchildren to do the right things and to be faithful to the Lord.
· She was kind to everyone, and her speech was always gracious, very much in keeping with the lady she was.

She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

· Pappaw had a lot to be proud of in Mai Mai. And we did too…
· She was a wonderful helpmeet for him, and did her best to meet all of his needs.
· She was both industrious and resourceful,
· Always finding a way to do things that might have stumped other people.
· She was funny, too… and that came in handy living with my grandfather.
· They shared a lot of laughter through the years,
· With Mai Mai enduring the telling of a lot of cheesy jokes and stories by the Edwards boys
· She also endured the attempts… of a young man who will remain nameless…
· Who constantly tried to rescue all the lizards in her shrubs…
· You would have though I… I mean… he… was bringing in rattlesnakes or something…
· She even stayed pretty calm… when said young man… attacked the lizards…
· Probably causing a couple hundred dollars worth of landscaping damage…oops…I am sorry
· That same summer…(which I think came to be known later as the Summer of Anguish?)
· That was the summer of the one and only movie Mai Mai ever went to see with a grandchild
· E.T…. I think poor Mai Mai had panic attacks for years after that one…

Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all.

· It is hard many times when a person dies… to say that they have lived… an excellent life.
· I think we can say of Mai Mai that she excelled in her life.
· She exceeded… what was expected of her in so many ways.
· I think all who knew her would say that Mary Edwards
· Was an excellent wife, daughter, sister, grandmother…friend…employee & Christian,
· Among many roles that she played in her life

Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

· All of us leave a legacy...
· Mai Mai left much fruit of her hands… by which she will be remembered here on earth.
· I know that Mai Mai feared God.
· She respected God’s word… and tried to live as the Bible teaches us that we should.
· She shared her faith with others.
· Undoubtedly, even in death, she will still elicit praise for many years to come
· With the legacy she has made.
· Every so often, in my parents’ home… or in one of my siblings’ houses… or at home,
· We will run across something Pappaw and MaiMai made for us at some point in our life
· A carpet they sewed by hand… seahorses made of seashells… a lamp…
· And many other gifts they made with love for us.
· These gifts comfort us… and remind us of happy times together.
· While all material things will pass away…we know that MaiMai’s soul lives on in eternity
· And her memory lives eternally in our hearts.
· Her works here on earth will now praise her—
· Telling of her industrious… resolute spirit,
· And we will be comforted… with the deeply impressed memories of her beautiful smile…
· Her southern voice… her infectious laugh…her righteousness…& her ever-gracious manner.
· We will miss you, Mai Mai!

Some Loose Ends....

Well, the last that I blogged, I left you hanging! Sorry to my two readers for that! LOL! I am like a major radio station in the area who claims to have two listeners! We both do a lot of work for our "two" faithful admirers.

No, I know that more than two read my blog, but I have no idea what my "cult following" amounts to. Not that I care, really. When I started blogging, it was purely a "me" thing---an outlet for my creative juices. I never seek to impress. I am who I am, and people can read or not read. I will be here regardless, when I have the time.

Well, one of the things I last wrote about was the sickness of my cousin Bill. Sadly, Bill passed away last week and was buried Friday. His relationship to me was strange. He was married to my first cousin, but they divorced many years ago. She was not too kind to him. I took his side, because blood should not be thicker than good old right and wrong. She was married again in no time. He never remarried.

Bill was also the first cousin of the preacher who married Tim and me. If that is not enough of a connection, he was also the first cousin of another man who married another cousin of mine. Weird, huh? Anyway, I loved Bill a lot, and I will miss him tremendously. His place at church is so sadly vacant. That was another weird coincidence. He and I ended up in the same church in a town that is not my hometown. We travel there because we like what they stand for there--good, old fashioned, pure Truth---and Bill just happened to be a member. I had not seen him in a while by that time, and he had aged a lot. His heart was supposedly only working at about 20% capacity. He rededicated his life on the very first day I attended this congregation. His life for the Lord was a struggle. (What Christian's isn't?) I pray he won the battle.

Speaking of death, I am afraid I will have another to report, sadly, before this week is out. My grandmother in Florida is apparently dying. You will remember that she was in bad shape about the time that the two hurricanes rolled through. Mom and Dad were down there at the time, and we knew she was slipping away. We just did not know how long it would be.

This Tuesday, the 22nd, will mark one year since I lost my other grandmother. We buried her last year the day before Thanksgiving. Now, it looks like this will be another sad week. I guess in a way it is better this way, as we will be forever mindful of "Mammaw" during the Thanksgiving season, and now, we will probably also remember this grandmother's passing at the same time.

I don't know what it is with my family and dates. My two grandmothers (Mom and Dad's real mothers) were born on Dec. 6th (Mammaw) and Dec. 7th (Nanny) respectively. The third grandmother (Dad's step-mother) shared his March 5th birthday. Nanny died one day before her own 83rd birthday and on Mammaw's birthday, and one day after my son Daniel's first birthday! Confused? Listen on. My Sarah was born on her Grandma Nolan's 70th birthday, on the 7th of March. My dad, Daniel, and I were all born on the 5th day of the month. My 2 sisters-in-law and my niece were all born on the 25th of the month. Tim, his mom and Sarah were all born on the 7th of the month. It does all get a little jumbled from time to time. I guess you can see how I need a good reminder program on my computer!

Let's see, what else have I not told you about in a while? Well, I am happy to report that the two I told you of in our church who have been battling cancer are winning the fight right now! Miss Tina and Mr. Alvin are both doing extremely well, and we hope the good Lord will send them both long seasons of refreshing. Miss Tina's hair is coming back in. It is about an inch or two long now, and we all rub her head like you rub a pregnant woman's belly. It feels so soft and good! I love Tina so much for her positive attitude.

Miss Gemma, up north, has gotten moved out of her house and into an apartment. She is still struggling with health issues, but hopefully, she will improve now that a lot of the stress will be off her. You will remember she was the wife of Jon (preacher who baptized Tim), who died on September 11th of last year. 9/11 is such a sad day for so many of us. Hopefully, happier times are on the way for Miss Gemma and Jon, Jr.

We had a gospel meeting last week, which is part of the reason I am so behind on blogging. It was really good! We had different speakers each day, and they were all excellent! On Thursday night, one of our "newer" friends preached, and we had several visitors from our "friends and family list." It is only the second occasion we have gotten to hear him, and it is quite a pleasure to get to hear such a talented, dedicated man speak! He is the spitting image of my brother-in-law (I have to get you pictures, Jeff and Anthony!) I think I counted 13 on our pew and the pew behind us. Mom and Dad, my sister-in-law Steph, her three kids Kelsey, Ben and Lauren, and our "Boro" friends Ben and Wendy and their girls Jordan, Jenna, and Julie all came that night. It was great! Some of us stayed around for the "virtual Bible study," a radio program that is done live via the internet every Thursday night at 8 central. You can access it by going to this link and clicking on the "Live Broadcast" link or by using the links on the first page of the website. It is a neat thing to be able to get questions from all over the world live as we are having the study. You can also access old programs there by clicking the topics. They download and you listen to them while you do other things. Our preacher, Greg, who normally conducts the program with his son Jacob, had the visiting preacher,Jeff come sit in the study and take questions from the live audience! He teased Jeff that we were going to play "Stump the Chump," but of course, Jeff is no chump and everyone was delighted to have him weigh in on the program.

I am skipping around from topic to topic, trying to tie up all the loose ends my two readers have asked me about outside of the blog. Regarding going back to work, I have not heard anything more from the old boss. I guess the current employee decided she would hang on to her job a while longer. It has suited me fine, as I have not felt much like taking that responsibility on as it gets colder and colder and while I am dealing with my blood sugar problem. I have to get that under control pronto. I have changed my eating habits but I still am not perfect in self-control, especially on days like last Sunday when cousin Carolyn had us over for lunch and served up two kinds of irresistible chocolate desserts in addition to all the other good barbecue-related products. I don't know if I could have turned down her luscious treats even if I knew I would go into a coma for eating them! Yes, indeedy, got to work on that self-control!

I am not quite certain of our Thanksgiving plans yet. I suppose it is all going to hinge on how the week goes for our Florida family. I heard a neat story during church last week, and I think I will close by sharing it. A man had lived a pretty long life but was in a bad car accident near the end of his life. Complications made his life difficult and painful at the end. This particular preacher who told the story was a personal friend of his and was with him as he breathed his last. He said that the old man's last words, as he struggled to say them, were "Thank you, Lord, Thank you, Lord, Thank you, Lord!" He was thanking God for the good parts of the life he had here on earth, which so greatly outnumbered the painful and challenging moments that came at the end of his life as he exited this body. So many of us get down and bitter and complain a lot as we get older. Would it not be great if we all could adapt the attitude that we are but spiritual creatures trapped in an earthly body, see past the physical, and live with gratitude to the Giver of all good and perfect gifts right to our last breath? I don't know about you, but I want to step into eternity with a smile on my lips and thankfulness in my heart for, not a perfect life here on earth, but the chance to spend a perfect eternity wearing blood-washed garments of white!

As this year draws to a close, I could not help but think today in services of how many who began the year worshipping with us in that church building have gone on into eternity. Some presently just have days or short weeks to live. We heard today of yet another lady there had a stroke a few days ago and is not expected to last through the week. Our life is but a vapor, that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.....

Yes, I am missing old Bill. It surely won't be the same without him across the aisle, smiling at Hannah--trying to get a smile out of her and getting only that steely-eyed stare so characteristic of our last-born! It tickled him so.

Be thankful today. Don't wait until Thursday. God deserves our gratitude more than one national holiday a year. And love somebody today. That's always a good idea.

You two have a nice rest of the evening.... :)

Must...have...more...space....

Well, my computer is sputtering, telling me in its weak voice that the hard drive is 99.9% full and I cannot do another thing on it until my dear husband puts in another drive. But you all know the saying...."the woodcutter's wife never has any wood...." My dear hard drive installer is always soooooooo busy, so I am just waiting for him to have the time to do it! Meanwhile, the kitchen faucet decided to die tonight, the washer is being held together by duct tape--my husband's other soulmate, hehehe--and the SUV has a leak in the heater coil. When it rains, it pours. And that reminds me, we have had tornadoes all over the state tonight, but everyone is safe, as far as I know.

However, the good news is that we still have water in the house, the washer is running, even though it needs a bolt in the case, and the SUV is drivable. I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed! We are all alive and well, and that is really a wonder, considering what my son drove to Lexington this last weekend. I teased him that Heaven surely must have been busy deploying the legions of guardian angels to surround that old bomb and get him up there and back safely. He got back by the skin of his teeth, and I don't know if the old car will hold up to many more road trips.

I am sad to report that my dear cousin (by marriage) Bill is dying. I got to spend a little time with him Sunday evening after church. I talked my way into the Cardiac Care Intensive Care Unit and spend a little time with him. His heart and liver are gone, and it is just a matter of time now. I have worshipped with Bill the last year or so now. It is a really difficult time for his family right now. I was happy to get to see his face one more time. He was always so sweet to me. Life has been cruel for him the past several years, and I think he just gave up here at the end. I wish he would have let some of us who loved him into his life near the end. I think he believed that no one loved him any more. What a sad place to be.

Well, I will be back with more when I can get my computer issues resolved. I know you can all feel my pain. One day, we will hopefully have a computer that is less prone to crash. Until next time....

Reflections

Just a few weeks ago, we learned of a man married to a lady at church (she has come alone all the time I have known her) who is terminal with cancer. He decided to become a Christian, partly, I suppose, because of the good example of his wife. He apparently knew enough about Christianity that he did not want to meet the Lord as he was.

This last weekend, when I saw my mom, she told me of another lady---an old friend of ours---who has pancreatic cancer and has about 3 weeks to live. Lady "A" has been "out of service" to the Lord for years. She had lived where I grew up, then moved north, as we did, to a larger city and become unfaithful. Mom had tried to call her and talk to her about her soul, with bad results. The lady was very unfriendly and acted like she did not want to be bothered. Then, later, like my parents, she and her husband moved back to our hometown, down south in the state where life is slow and peaceful.

But death waits for no man (or woman as the case may be) and Lady "A" found out that her time here is virtually over. She, too, found her way back to church to make her life right before she passes over the eternal sea.

As I spoke with my mother about these cases and others that we have known over the years, we reflected that it was sad that people sometimes have to KNOW they are dying before they get their lives straight. I told Mom that I wonder what God thinks about that---waiting til the last possible moment to "live for Christ."

As Tim and I reflected on these same thoughts later, we spoke of the story Jesus told in Matthew 20. It goes like this:

"For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the owner of an estate who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay the normal daily wage and sent them out to work.
"At nine o'clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing. So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day. At noon and again around three o'clock he did the same thing. At five o'clock that evening he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, `Why haven't you been working today?'

"They replied, `Because no one hired us.'

"The owner of the estate told them, `Then go on out and join the others in my vineyard.'

"That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. When those hired at five o'clock were paid, each received a full day's wage. When those hired earlier came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day's wage. When they received their pay, they protested, `Those people worked only one hour, and yet you've paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.'

"He answered one of them, `Friend, I haven't been unfair! Didn't you agree to work all day for the usual wage? Take it and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be angry because I am kind?'

This parable would seem to indicate that there will be no difference in reward for those who become workers in the kingdom in their early lives or at the "five o'clock" hour of their lives. For those of us who would use our human reasoning and yell, "That's not fair!" Jesus replies, in effect, "What are you upset about? Didn't I give you what I promised you I would in the beginning (salvation in exchange for remaining faithful)?"

Who are we to get upset when someone comes to the Lord at any time of their lives? I have known professing Christians who wanted to put some sort of age limit on how old a young person needed to be before they could be saved! My Bible has no such limitation that I am aware of.

We need to be careful that we do not put off doing what we know to be right and think that when we get older, we will straighten out all that is wrong in our lives. Some of us don't get that chance. Like the rich fool in Luke 12, we may be told on any given day by God, "'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?" Some people literally gamble with their souls, wagering that they can live life on their terms today, and they will get it all together again later in life. As with all gambling, sometimes you win, but most of the time, you lose.

When someone swallows their pride and renounces their past life and decides to be a Christian at any age (as long as they are old enough to count the cost of discipleship and meet the Lord's requirements for obedience to the gospel,) then it seems to me that the least we can do is welcome them into the kingdom and rejoice with the angels in heaven for their salvation! Any other reaction may land us in the very eternal destiny that we have worked our entire life to avoid!

Attention, Grandma's, Grandpa's and other adoring Readers

Pictures are up at Hannah's site from Halloween and her birthday, and at Sarah's site for some misc. pictures surrounding birthday parties and Halloween. Enjoy!

The Case of the Disappearing Blogger

Well, things in Gravyville have been wild and happening for a couple of weeks now, and I am good and ready to be snowed in by about 10 feet of snow, where no one can come or go for a few days, at least! I love the social stuff, as I am a social creature, but there's a part of me that would love nothing more than some quiet time with a good book, a good cup of coffee, and little to no kid noise.

I've been cleaning pencil marks and pen drawings off of walls this morning. My 5 year old artistically drew her name on the bathroom wall. I thought we were past that with her. I still have to get the orange crayon off the walls of the stairwell where Hannah drew her own work of art. I am a good mind to just put a frame over them and leave them until they quit doing this stuff. It won't do a bit of good to clean it off. They will just replace it shortly with a new work of art.

Let's see....what have we been up to since I last updated? Well, a couple of Saturdays ago, we were invited out to Cole's house (boy friend of Sarah) for a Halloween/birthday party and cookout. Here are a couple of photos from that festive event!


Cole is the one on the right, who dressed as Harry Potter.


Here are the kids waiting for the costume judging. Notice Sarah is about to hold hands with Timothy, checking to see if Cole is looking.


Sarah thinks the haunted house was a hoot!

Hopefully, I will have all the pics posted on Sarah's blog later today.

Then, this last Sat. night, we went out to the farm of our dear elder, brother Alvin, whom I have told you so much about. We had a cookout, hay ride, and surprise birthday party for brother Alvin! I especially loved the hay ride right through his pastures, acres and acres of farm land. We drove right through herds of cows, which was a little unnerving, but we finally got back to the house safe and sound.

Our elder's wife, Miss Shelby, coerced us to sing our now infamous version of "The Peanut Butter Ballad." Then, if that was not embarrassing enough, she made us sing more, but we got everyone else to join in, so it was not so bad! Everybody wanted to know where our little family got started singing together. We have had many long car trips in the past, and we continue to spend a lot of time on the road driving to and from worship services in neighboring towns, so we sing a lot then. My extended family---Mom, Dad, brothers and wives all sing well, and we sing a lot together. It is one of the "little pieces of heaven" for me in this life.


Brother Alvin opens his commentaries from the group


Brother Alvin's birthday cake....

Miss Tina, another member of our church who has been battling breast cancer, was there, and she is doing well after chemo and radiation. She is such an inspiration to all of us! How she manages to stay so positive, I do not know, but she surely encourages me each time I see her!


Miss Tina has overcome her breast cancer and is growing her hair back in after chemo.

I was going to tell about Hannah's birthday and Halloween in this post, but my computer is wigging out, so I am going to stop and save at this point.....

The Many Faces of Hannah

Boy, I am glad that it is not this time 2 years ago! One look at the pictures will reveal why!




I was one miserable gal with 8lb. 8 oz. of Hannah inside me. But she arrived on October the 27th, and I was just happy we did not have to have her on Halloween. (That is when the Dr. wanted to do the c-section, but I went into labor first.) That was one holiday on which I would rather she had not been born. She arrived by c-section, a ruddy little girl with plenty of fat on her. She took all day to get into the world, and she was greeted with much anticipation by her parents, grandparents and siblings. In this picture, her grandparents show Sarah the new baby through the window.







Her father and I were elated that all was well with her!





Trouble was, all was not well with me. Something went wrong, and I was back into surgery in five days. Still, my little "pumpkin" thrived. She had a wonderful nurse who fell in love with her and even went out and bought her her own "blankie" so she would be comforted when her mommy could not be there.









I made her a little shirt similar to the one her sister had when she was born. Hannah's said, "Daddy's Other Little Kicker".

She was just a beautiful baby, and she was very good for the two weeks we were in the hospital. I never was so happy to get out of a place and get home, though.




This was her "birth photo" we sent out. She was wrapped in my baby blanket from 40 years previous.



Hannah grew steadily, and before we knew it, it was her first Christmas. She did not like this photo session under our tree very much.



But by this photo, she was peaceful again! That's the way my Hannah is.



Hannah is a Daddy's girl, for sure. I think they bonded especially close since I was out of commission for so long after the birth. She loves Sam, too, and sometimes I think she thinks that HE is her mommy!



Sarah and Hannah are the best of friends, and for that, I am so grateful. I think they will always be very close to one another.



Hannah can be a hand full! Just yesterday, she managed to trap herself in the bathroom by pulling out the bottom drawer next tot he door, and it took the whole family half an hour to extricate her! Then, she promptly went into the kitchen, pulled a bowl down off the counter and broke it into a jillion pieces. She keeps us hopping all the time. That is how she got the name "Hannah Bee." She is always busy as a bee!



Hannah definitely has many faces. She is a very expressive baby!







I think what I love most about her are her huge brown eyes! They can stare a hole through you, or they can ooze with love and laughter!
So today, my little "Bee," Happy Birthday from your adoring family! You have enriched our lives and we have been so blessed by you. May the good Lord see fit to give you many wonderful years on this earth so that you can continue to bless the lives of others!

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two
horses in it. From a distance, each looks like
every other horse. But if one stops the car, or is
walking by, one will notice something quite amazing.

Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose
that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have
him put down, but has made a good home for him.
This alone is amazing.

Listening, one will hear the sound of a bell.
Looking around for the source of the sound, one will
see that it comes from the smaller horse in the
field. Attached to her bridle is a small bell. It
lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can
follow her.

As one stands and watches these two friends, one
sees how she is always checking on him, and that he
will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to
where she is, trusting that she will not lead him
astray.

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not
throw us away just because we are not perfect or
because we have problems or challenges.

He watches over us and even brings others into our
lives to help us when we are in need.
Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by God
and those whom he places in our lives.
Other times we are the guide horse, helping others
to see God.
"Good friends are like stars.....You don't always
see them, but you know they are always there."
---Author unknown

Taco Soup!

Hot temptations on a cold night!















Well, Wilma has come and gone from Florida, and thankfully, my parents are still earth-bound. It has been a trying week for the family, with several members of our extended family having passed away, including two sisters from Columbia who died in the same week last week! And they were both in their 40's to boot! Hey, these days, I don't take one day for granted. There have been a huge number of 45 year olds dying right in my own town. I think there were three last week listed in one day's obituary. One was 42 and two were 45.

I've spent the night writing the eulogy for my grandmother's brother-in-law who passed on Sunday. My brother will preach the funeral tomorrow. Sometimes we share these projects since I am the family historian, writer, and photographer. Maybe if we all had to write a eulogy every so often, we would think more about our eternal state instead of always worrying about all this earthly lunacy.

We made taco soup tonight. We had tried it last week but did not like the recipe, so we tried again tonight with much better results. I am going to have to watch my fat intake. I did very well at the hayride/birthday party Saturday night! I only ate one S'more! I've cut out most sweets and all sweet drinks, and hopefully the changes will do me good. I've got Hannah's birthday party and another hayride this weekend AND Halloween to get through----horrors, it is going to be hard to stay away from all the sweets! :)




Anyway, here is the recipe for Taco Soup as we like it:






TACO SOUP

Ingredients:
2 lbs. ground beef, browned
2 cans whole kernel corn
1 can pinto beans
1 can red kidney beans
2 cans Mexican-style tomatoes (Rotel)
1 small can chopped, green chilies
16 oz. sour cream
1 pkg. taco seasoning
1 pkg. dry, Ranch Dressing mix
grated cheddar cheese
taco chips

Directions:
1. Brown ground beef in a skillet and chop up into small pieces while cooking.
2. Drain off grease from the ground beef after browning.
3. Put the ground beef into a crockpot. Add corn, beans, tomatoes and chilies. Do not drain any of these items.
4. Stir in packages of sour cream, taco seasoning, and Ranch Dressing mix.
5. Cook in crock-pot for four hours. If not using a crockpot, use a large dutch oven pan and simmer for 1 hour.
6. Serve in bowls and sprinkle with grated cheddar cheese.
7. Taco chips are a good addition to this tasty soup.

Hanging On.....

News Update!

Mom, Dad, and my grandfather are holed up in Pappaw's condo in Sarasota and "holding on." So far, so good there. The electricity is still on. That's a good thing. My grandmother was evacuated to the hospital and is there with her sister til Wilma passes over.

My Dad lost an aunt and an uncle yesterday---one from his Dad's side and one from his Mom's side. Uncle J.W. passed in Tennessee at roughly the same time Aunt Grace passed out in Texas. We are scrambling to see which of my brothers will preach J.W's funeral on Tuesday here. Everyone is displaced right now, and it is going to be tricky to get everything done from where we all are.

I called Mom and Dad last night, last thing before I went to bed and told them to please be careful, as we did not need any more relatives called home right now. Thankfully for our family, anyway, the storm has passed to the south of Sarasota. Now, I just worry for my aged friend Alice in Miami, who is getting too old to keep sleeping on the floors of shelters.

We had a very pleasant Sunday. For the second time in as many weeks, we went to morning services, ate lunch out, and then went to the afternoon special services of churches in our area, and then went back to our own evening service. I got to see an old friend I have not seen in 15 years, and that is always neat! Of course, I was back in my hometown church as well, and I am always overjoyed to see the folks that are still alive after all these years! They are amazing folks. The water is truly special in that town. They all claim that is the secret to their longevity. Hmmm, maybe I need to move back there! I think the water here in Gravyville is killing me.

The kids and I are beat, and I am going to do nothing today except schoolwork, lots of laundry, and perhaps writing a eulogy for my brother to give tomorrow. That's a slow day for us! Remember to pray for those in harm's way today! :)

Sage Words

Thought O' the Day......

"Don't sweat the petty thingz, and don't pet the sweaty thingz."

Are you totally inspired now?

www.Loose Ends

Thursday's Thoughts...more questions than answers....

Well, my parents made it to Florida. My grandmother is very weak and very critically ill, though still being cared for at home. I am concerned that all the chaos involved with a possible evacuation to the local hospital might just be her undoing. It also presents problems for my mom who has been battling with lymph node problems and probably should not be exposed to all the different diseases present in a hospital, especially a hospital that may not be able to maintain the usual standards of cleanliness. Then there is my 85 year old granddad and my 65 year old dad, both with heart problems. I hope this storm will not scare them into some kind of a spell. I'm still hoping that somehow this monstrous storm will weaken, and leaving their home will not become necessary.




My grandparents in a 2002 photograph











On a happy note, Tim's brother Kevin called us from Mississippi today where he is training to go to Iraq. It was so good to hear his voice and to talk to him! Kevin is a true Patriot who is keeping his chin up despite the dread of leaving his wife for a long-term assignment in a war zone. His wife is having to hold down the fort up in Wisconsin.

I'm still waiting to hear on the "going back to work thing." I think that the lady who is currently running the place is not sure if she wants to give it up or not. The boss is not happy with the way she is running it, but I am not sure he has the energy to fight her to take it away from her. I'm in no hurry. I'm leaving it to the Lord to work this one out! This is one situation where I can truthfully go either way and be perfectly happy!

The clothes sorting continues. Arghhhhh! How one family can grow out of so many clothes, I do not know. Little girls outfits are notorious, too, for having several pieces to them, and I hate to store them until I have found all the pieces and put them together. So I am doing a lot of "where did I see that blouse?" Sometimes, I think I will perpetually be sorting clothes the rest of my life. Currently, Hannah is bringing me a stack of sorted dresses, one at a time, and wanting me to put them on her. She does not understand that they fit her a year and a half ago.

Speaking of Hannah, I have less than a week to plan her second birthday. I can't get in the mood with the events unfolding in Florida. I think I will have to know that my parents and grandparents are safe before I can proceed. Gratefully, she will only be two and won't know the difference if we wait a few days, one way or the other. Meanwhile, little niece Lauren is patiently waiting for her family celebration of her 1st birthday.

The news made me sad today. I hate it when I go to my Fox news on the net or CNN or both, and all the news is sad. Mother throws babies off of pier. Ford laying off workers. Earthquakes and Hurricanes everywhere. I am trying to figure out if it is just me or if lots of people are very somber and serious right now. I have to watch it, because sometimes, I think it is just my perspective. But it seems like every blog I go to, I read another sad story and see that there are lots of desperate people right now. I will get enough of it and back off of viewing any news for a while. Sometimes you just have to stop the negative sensory input.

I guess if I had one of those little icons on my blog that said "Today I feel...." that today's answer would be "philosophical." I am trying to figure out a lot of things right now, and there just don't seem to be any good answers. However, from the looks of my email today, and the tone of aforementioned blogs, I am not alone. I have faith, and I know that God is ALWAYS in control of everything from government to weather. Yet, I cannot help but wonder if this old earth is winding down.... If that is the case, or even if it is not, there is not one thing I can do about it.

Those of you who know me know that I usually profile my loved ones on their birthdays. Today is the birthday of my ex-father-in-law, and it is amazing what a gigantic mess he has made of his life. While I won't be doing a tribute to him, I ask that you pray for him, that he will see the error of his ways before his life is over and change. He has lost everything...his kids, his wife, his material possessions. Despite the fact that his son (my ex) is a louse, he was always pretty decent to me. I wish him no harm and do pray that he can get in the Light before the end of his days.

At any rate, life goes on, and this weekend, we will take Sarah to her much-anticipated birthday celebration and hayride for one of her little "boy friends." I hope the rain and storms do not interfere or Sarah is going to be to bury. It is so cute. She has a string of potential suitors, all of whom have asked her at one time or another to come over and have a sleepover, much to her father's horror! The sweet little ones do not know yet that boys and girls do not sleep over together, and in their innocence, they do not exactly understand why not! I often wonder if one of these young men will be the men our daughters choose to marry some day. Oh, well, that is WAY too premature. Yet, I know from having a 19-year-old and a 17-year-old how fast it goes by.

Well, that's the update for now. Hopefully, tomorrow will produce more answers than questions as well as a much lighter blog for your reading enjoyment.

"Edwards Luck"

(O.K. This is not REALLY the storm track, but rather what could happen if the hurricane takes a Tennessee turn, in hot pursuit of the Edwardses.....By the way, note the advisory number---this becomes relevant as you read on.....)


What do you call it when your parents are headed to Florida and the worst hurricane on record in the Atlantic Basin is headed right at them? You got it! Edwards Luck! We have had a joke in my family for a lot of years. It is along the lines of Murphy's Law, but just for our blood relatives.

It is not enough that I have 5 children to worry about, along with one very busy and accident-prone husband. I have to agonize this week over the safety of the brother who decided to go to Myrtle Beach and the parents who are on their way into harm's way. We had quipped at the last family gathering before they all left that one or the other would probably run into a hurricane. Of course, that was not a hard prediction to make, considering this monstrous hurricane season we have had.

My step-grandmother is ailing and has been for some time. Her sister, who is over 80 as well, has been almost single-handedly caring for her for well over a year now since a sizable stroke. My grandparents are in the 85-year-old range and surely not able to get themselves out in a disaster. Sister called Dad and told him they needed to get down there, as Grandmother is slipping away. What do you do? You almost have to go. I just wish they were all up here, where the family is concentrated so that we could care for them. But they are not. I am terribly worried for the safety of them all.

Mom and Dad called tonight, and they had made the full drive today---about 16 hours worth. When they got to their hotel, the clerk tried to put them in room 313. My Dad said, "No Way!" They got moved to 325. It is not so much superstition as it is that a lot of bad things have happened to him on the 13th. I don't blame him for being a little nervous with a Category 5 Hurricane staring at him with her big pronounced eye.

After all the Katrina and Rita mess, I can only imagine what pandemonium is going to ensue when they tell people to evacuate. The highways of Florida are going to be a parking lot.

I tried to get my parents to reconsider. After all, it is already pre-arranged that my grandmother would be carried to the hospital to weather the storm. She will be as safe as people can be in a hurricane. But my mother had already paid her money on Priceline.com for a room, and she was going! That is the difference in my mom and me. I guess she is a little more gutsy than I.

So, tonight, I long for all my family members that are displaced. I pray that God will keep them all safe until we can be together again.